What should I do

[Honeytrap55]

Partners depression has got so bad he can't handle our relationship and feels I'm really hurting him. I dont know what I'm doing other than asking questions and trying to help.

Anyway he said to me today he doesn't know what he wants because I keep hurting him. But when I said so we are over for good he refuses to answer and says I'm pushing him. He got madder and madder when I said I just need an answer to I know whether I'm in a relationship or not. Especially as I have children who I need to be honest with.

He said he needed to get off the phone because he was still top mad at me. I said well will you please message me and let me know. He shouted yes fine I will.

Anyway I don't know where to put my head now. I can't message him now and won't as I'm not a pest. But I can't work out whether I should just presume its over. He just says he doesn't know what he wants because of the way he feels.

Is there some other reason he’s so annoyed with you or just because you’ve been asking questions about the relationship? Has anything else happened?

I wouldn’t be waiting for him to decide, take control of the situation yourself and tell him if he doesn’t know if he wants to be together then you’re calling time. Why be with someone who isn’t sure about you.

I've been very loving. Going shopping for him. Trying to keep him company. Ringing when he texts me he's having a bad day. I did say two or 3 times in the last month that I missed certain things that he's lost interest in and hoped we would get them back. I expressed I felt sad last week because I couldn't remember the last hug I got and felt a little needy of a hug. I'll be honest 3 days ago I asked if the attraction was honestly still there for me. But I asked kindly.

He seems angry at my questions. He said my phone calls annoy him. He's sick of hearing from me because he never knows what he's going to get from me. I never am horrible though..he says I am. I dont get it. It's been 4 hours and he's not messaged me since the chat.

OP he’s asked for space , why pressure him?
You sound a bit pushy

I've been very loving. Going shopping for him. Trying to keep him company. Ringing when he texts me he's having a bad day.

And this is what you get for it.

I think you need to make the decision to end a relataionship where you are accused of hurting the other person. For both your sakes.

When you end it and block him everywhere, he will either disappear, or suddenly decide he loves and needs you like he never has loved or needed anyone before.

The latter is what abusers do. Either way, it's best to end the relationship.

I think he’s had his head turned & he’s trying to make up his mind. He’s struggling.

I hate to say it but this could be a possibility. The seeming really low and depressed and getting annoyed with you are very common when this happens.

He doesn’t sound like he’s able to be in a relationship right now. I’m guessing he doesn’t live with you. How long have you been together?

My partner has BPD. The behaviour you are describing is exactly how my partner behaves when he's having a splitting episode.
Is it just depression he suffers with or is there something more going on??