Pregnant and dumped...anyone else been here?

[samemistake]

I'm new here, just needed some input from other mums...

I seem to have been ditched - my partner has apparently 'gone away' to clear his head and not heard from him for 4 days, his phone is off.

He didn't say anything to me, I got told by his relative.

We've not been together long, but he was very positive about the pregnancy (more so than me at first, as I already have 2 kids and I was worried he would do a runner!!!!) and had a difficult patch recently, but he spoke to me OK on thurs, then gone.

Anyone else go through this? What happened?

I'm confused, devastated, panicky, scared, angry...everything

Thanks

So sorry to hear this same mistake. I haven't been through this but a friend had something similar - her partner was having a huge wobble about his commitment to being a dad and went awol for a few days. He did come back and she did forgive him in the end. Very very hard for you though - is there anyone he is in contact with? Do you have real life support around you?

Sounds like he will be a dad for the first time - am I right?
My guess is that it's probably a massive shock to him and he is trying to come to terms with it in his own way. Not the best way, obviously, but nobody's perfect!

In the meantime, you, your DC, and new baby are number one. When/If he comes back, take it from there and go with your instincts on him.

Good luck and congrats

When I was pg with dd1 (much wanted, tried for, within a marriage btw) my xh decided that it was all a bit much and he left me.

He did tell me that if I had an abortion he would come back, but I didn't believe him as he was already living with his next girlfriend. It would never have been an option for me anyway.

It is very common. Any questions, just feel free to shout out, or if you want to talk in private, you can cat me.

You will cope. You will be fine, you will be the one who sees the first smile, the first steps and who the baby comes to when it is hurt. This is all worth SO MUCH more than he could ever give you.

I know you are frightened, I've been there, but you really will come out the other side.

Hi, thanks for the messages

Actually it's not his first...he has 1 whose mum doesn't want him involved and moved so he doesn't know where they are (according to him) and 1 who everyone thinks isn't even his at all but the mother is still in touch with grandparents, adamant the child IS his... baggage or what

Since I started this thread, he's actually been in touch! He says he's got a lot on his mind and is having some space, and will be in touch soon.

What a shaky start to something that was so rosy at first - I've never had a 'lovey dovey' pregnancy, but when we found out (together) that's just what it was like - all cuddles and excitement. Now this.

Yip 13 yrs ago..Managed to cope although I was only just 19,mine never came back and has yet to see his 13 yr old daughter-his loss not hers!

I'm really sorry you are going through it

Hi, I'm sorry to hear about this. It happened to me, wasn't together long got preg went from being pleased to running out on me. just cut off contact phone off etc... mum was dying of cancer, He wouldn't even return my calls the say she died The worse thing is he did this as myoh but he came back every now and thenn to use me for sex (conning me into thihnking things might change)

after my daughter was born I realised what he had been doing and how he used me, He doesn't see her ad I'm glad he isn't in my life now because he is a nasty piece of work.

As for your situation it isn't first time nerves as he already a dad by name only as he doesnt care for them, he sounds a like a pathetic loser like my ex.

who knows he may come back but it doesnt sound likely given his history. I know it hurts but do you really want a man who disregards you like this?

sorry my post got all jumbled up then l;aptop doing weird things! here it is again written properly!

Hi, I'm sorry to hear about this. It happened to me, wasn't together long got preg went from being pleased to running out on me. just cut off contact phone off etc... The worse thing is he did this as my mum was dying of cancer He wouldn't even return my calls the day she died oh but he came back every now and thenn to use me for sex (conning me into thihnking things might change)

after my daughter was born I realised what he had been doing and how he used me, He doesn't see her ad I'm glad he isn't in my life now because he is a nasty piece of work.

As for your situation it isn't first time nerves as he already a dad by name only as he doesnt care for them, he sounds a like a pathetic loser like my ex.

who knows he may come back but it doesnt sound likely given his history. I know it hurts but do you really want a man who disregards you like this?

Yip, and managed just fine as you will if it doesn't work out.
I just focused on the upcoming bambino and all my efforts went into making all preperations etc were in place for the arrival, then you know what its like after, you just don't have time to think!

I was given a choice - him, or baby. I picked baby. He wanted nothing to do with ds.
Ds now has a lovely dad, and a brother on the way.
His 'real' dad has now raised his ugly head after 3 years, and decided he wants to see ds.
Its hard, but you can do it.
Do you have good family support?