Sorry this might be a long post - I’m new to Mumsnet but really need some advice.
My partner’s an alcoholic - we’ve been together for over 6 years and he’s put me through a lot. I had an unplanned pregnancy quite soon on in our relationship (our eldest is 5) and have tried to make it work for her sake. He’s lied hundreds of times, stolen from me, my mum, his family, our children but about 2 years ago he joined AA. He’s been sober for about a year but 2 weeks ago had a drink - I found the cans in his car when I was getting my youngest out. He said it was only once but given his history I’m dubious and don’t know what more I can take.
He’s also done lots of stupid things which means I can’t trust him at all. Years back before we lived together, he would leave his son (4 at the time) from his previous marriage at home alone in bed while he went to the shop to get beer. He’s driven his older son after drinking too much and me whilst pretending he was sober. I always hoped that he’d change for his family. Last weekend he took our littlest boy to football training - he’s 2 - I left the house after him and saw his car parked at the shop. He was in the shop and had left our 2 year old in the car alone.
We also argue a lot - I can be mean but he shouts and swears at me and is very hurtful in what he says - like it was the thought of seeing my face that made him drink. He questions the way I parent our children and calls me a prissy. I try so hard not to argue when the kids are awake so I let his comments and bickering go but when they’re in bed we do argue. We’ve tried couples counseling but to no avail.
He can never see that he’s in the wrong and just twists everything round. Last night he even said that he prefers his eldest child to our 2 children. He recons everyone has a favorite child and he likes our daughter the least. I think I might have finally reached my limit but I’m worried that it will be the wrong thing for the children. I’m worried how having separated parents will affect them. I’m worried that they’ll be unsafe with him when they spend time with him if he’s given contact. I just don’t know what to do for the best!
Thank you for reading this far!