I left my fiance 6 months ago because he frequently verbally put me down, insulted me, turned arguments into circular head fks where he'd just volley "well what about you" back at me and I'd never get my issues heard, he also cheated online with multiple women, threatened me, followed me around our house and refused to leave me alone to the point I had to lock myself in the bathroom.
I was miserable as hell and my personality completely changed while I was in this relationship. I couldn't see it happening though, I just thought that it was my fault because that's what he repeatedly told me.
This weekend just gone, I went back to get some of my stuff and found out that despite him contacting me just a few weeks ago seeming to want to reconcile he's actually been using our joint home as a knocking shop - there was a sex kit from ann summers on the floor of the bedroom and it had been used.
There was also other evidence women had been there.
To be honest it's sad to look at our home and the hovel it has become, I live in a house share and since I've left I've been able to spend time with my family without there being a "latest row" that i'm feeling broken over, I've bought myself a new car, had facials, doing better at work, made friends and i'm generally having a good life.
I genuinely thought that all of it was me and ended up on anti-depressants because it just drained me so much, I would have been absolutely crushed if I had seen this evidence before of him sleeping with other people, but now I just look at it, feel sad and think "yup... I wasn't wrong about who you really are".
I keep getting emails from him stating that he "needs my address to send hard copy letters to" (he doesn't know where I live and is blocked on everything, also another reason i changed my car so he can't see me/find me) and that I'm trying to force him to sell our house at a loss and financially damage him (baloney) so I've finally decided to lawyer up and I'm going to have the shittiest letter written to him and hopefully scare the crap out of him so he leaves me alone.
He seems to make a habit of contacting me every now and then, attempting to allude to "something coming" in terms of legal action then goes quiet after getting a reaction so I've had enough, especially after what I have now seen he's doing in our home which I was forced out of.
Just want to say to everyone in this situation, stand up for yourself. Think of you. If you compare this message and the one I wrote 6 months ago it's unrecognisable and thank you for all the fabulous people who have written me messages of support. You were all right that I would be ok.