This is a friend through a hobby. I've always thought he's a nice man, we get on in a friendly way and seem to be well suited intellectually, he's someone I can talk to about the issues of the day iyswim, we've had similar career paths and interests away from the hobby.
It had never ever occurred to me that we might be more than friends who meet up occasionally re the hobby though, he's married. I enjoy the time we spend together, as I do with other friends, but until recently I'd never thought of him in between times and we weren't in touch outside of the group.
Probably a year ago he started talking to the group about his marital problems. He was very upset things weren't going well, his wife had said she wanted to separate but he hoped to work things out. I obviously don't know her reasons or feelings or if things were too far gone, but he set about a programme of "making an effort". I wished him well, but did think early on that if things were that bad, making Sunday lunch isn't going to fix it.
Anyway, he's recently told me (not the group) that they are now separated but for the time being they're living in the same house. It's all very sad and I've sympathised with him about how difficult that must be.
He's sad and lonely and seems to be working towards being a closer friend with me. That would be OK, as I said, I like the man and as a fairly newly single person myself, currently building a new life, I have found that valued friends come in all shapes and sizes, some of them surprising.
If we were a year or two on, he might even be an attractive romantic proposition for me, but I've no intention of getting involved with married man still living with his wife. (I've no reason to think it's not true, but also have a level of skepisim. I know some couples do live in the same house for a while post split, but also know men will say that...)
How would you play this situation? Strictly friends as part of the group only? Closer friends supporting each other through tough situations? Or stay well well away?