My boyfriends mental issues and problems have always been the center of our relationship. They have always created thus up and down emotion within him. He blames me alot for everything in the relationship. When he's low and down and I dare mention how I feel he goes straight into attack mode. I'm always there with advice and I've lent money and nothings ever too much trouble.
The last 8 or 9 weeks he's been on a massive low. He's mentioned feeling suicidal twice. I helped him sort therapy and he didn't bother answering the phone. I've loaned him money whilst he's too down to work. He has neglected all my needs (I hope that isn't shallow) he isn't walking me home. He's not comforting me and there's no intimacy. I feel starved. I cry alot.
Stuff in my own life is getting big. I'm about to go rent a house on my own after finally selling my house with my children's dad from years ago. It's a big Time in my life. I've felt really down in the dumps this last week. The emotions about my house move and my kids lives changing and me having to start again goes.the bottom essentially alone is massive.
My partner knew I wasn't sleeping the last 3 nights. I've told him I'm so down and sad. I go visit him and he sits next to me stiff as a board. All I want is him to pull me in for a huge hug and reassure me ill be OK.
I walked home in the rain this morning after staying over. He stayed in his dressing gown as always whilst I walked 30 mins in the dark alone for work. He didn't message as I walking like he often does. I phoned him when I was Almost home and said I felt like I didn't matter. I said I would give anything for him to give me a massive cuddle and let me cry in his arms. It was met with anger and him saying I was always starting. He continued telling me that if I'm depressed to go speak to a Dr it isn't his fault and that he has enough of his own stuff to deal with. He said I never listen and he's told me I'm selfish because love and relationships aren't about 1 thing. I said to him it's one thing to not want to have sex anymore but if he can't force himself to comfort me with a cuddle then how does he expect me to feel positive. I said he's refusing to meet any of my needs at the moment and getting angry at me that it's affecting me.
I've supported him all year and been there through all his struggles and now I'm being treated this way.
What are your honest opinions?
I've told him we need to take a break. He often will say he thinks about suicide when we fall out as he has nothing or nobody else. Which is true..but I don't know how to make myself feel loved and valued by him when he's refusing to step up for me.