Im 30 and I’ve met a guy the same age who has a colourful past which - taking him at face value - he’s been open and honest about.
We’re not at exclusive stage yet. No rush. Lots of compatability but based on what he’s told me about his history, I’m struggling with knowing whether to see how it goes or end it now so thought I’d ask wise MNers as objective opinions are helpful. I don’t want to be too judgemental as I appreciate everyone has their stories.
He had a bad relationship in his late teens to early 20s. She was very violent and he hit back at times or held her arms in self defence in return. They had a child who he has custody of as the mother left and has since gone abroad and has not expressed any wanting to be in child’s life since. Child well loved and he’s well supported by his family around him to raise them.
He had a second relationship 5 years later which was healthy, but ended naturally and she moved back to her home country. She then advised she was pregnant. He has met child once and sends money. He isn’t on birth certificate and has sought legal advice but is reluctant to push the mother through court for access as believes child and her have good life and are settled and would feel bad causing this trauma, but is sad about not knowing his child. I find this upsetting, as I always think fathers should push for access no matter how difficult and challenging.
He had a third shorter relationship which involved drama and admits he should have walked away earlier but didn’t and has learned from this.
He’s had therapy. He’s now looking for a normal healthy relationship. He’s been single for 2 years to take some time off.
Thoughts?