"I've suffered periods of migraine with aura on and off over the years and I've had to lie down for a few hours and then just get on with it when the flashing has gone and I've been left with just a headache, I think this is why I can't understand why he's in bed literally all day."
I suppose that's because it's not one size fits all when it comes to migraines and their symptoms. I have hormone induced migraines, just like my mum did, however, our symptoms, longevity and severity of them are different. She vomited a lot with them and would sleep on the bathroom floor because of that, however, I have never vomited with mine. I get crazy nausea but don't actually get sick. I get aura, she didn't. I get dizzy, she didn't. We're all built differently and react to pain in different ways too. Some have a high tolerance, some low. So while you might be alright after a couple of hours in a dark room, your husband obviously isn't. I understand that it might be impacting you, but you need to think of how it's impacting him. It can cause depression and anxiety in someone experiencing migraine - fear of an impending attack, feeling disbelieved when experiencing a flare up "It's just a headache, get on with it". It's disabling, so he has my entire sympathy there. But I also sympathise with you too. It's hard when the brakes are applied due to health conditions, but that's just life. Try and encourage him to try the triptans again. I take mine with cyclizine to quell any nausea or stomach upset. If he doesn't like those, he can go for a prophylaxis approach - propanolol, topamax. I can understand your frustration if he's not helping himself, but as someone who has lost jobs and friendships over the crippling effect migraine has had on my life, I can also understand why he's in bed a lot.
Sorry if this wasn't useful, and good luck!