My mother was the only girl in a family of brothers and her dad favoured the brothers over her particularly the older one who lived away and played them all off against one another. So you would think she would know better.
In my birth family I am the eldest of three. My mother has always seemed to favour my younger siblings over me and this has got worse in recent years. I have often had comments thrown up to me in the past if I ever say anything that they are more like her, so she finds it easier to get on with them, they are more down to earth like her, she doesn’t know why that is, I must be imagining things, its all in my mind, she thought something was bothering me and she doesn’t know why I am so jealous of them, I’ll be sorry when she is gone (she is early 80’s now but she has said this for decades) etc. She also treats my children like second class citizens but practically brought up my niece. My two hardly saw her and she never looked after them when they were little. She has always favoured my niece, always talking about her, spoiling her with money, time, attention, much more lavish gifts (my niece is my younger sisters child).
Anyway I am sick of her giving it this woe is me I can’t go out anywhere because I can’t drive, my balance is bad, my anxiety is bad etc etc. Yet she can summon a taxi quick sharp to go and visit my niece and her dogs (who lives about the same distance away as I do).
If I offer to take her out in the car she nearly always knocks me back saying she will not bother, will just leave it, she will let me know nearer the time she has a but of a funny tummy, we’ll do something another time etc. But if my sister or niece offer to take her out she is there like a rat up a drain pipe and goes on and on about it. My sister now has become her go to for everything. I’ll just leave it for her, she can do it, she says she is going to do it, no its ok I’ve already asked her, I will just ask her. Yet I am more intelligent and much more capable at most things. Amongst other things I am sure I/we my family have been cut out of the will as my sister and niece are visiting her umpteen times a week yet for her age she is in very good health.
Anyway today I offered to take her somewhere and got the no I’ll just leave it thank you. She texted me about something else later and said her mobile phone wasn’t working and she had phoned our landline. I phoned her back. I was perfectly ok with her. She asked if I enjoyed X I said I didn’t go I was only going to go to X with you. She said well I didn’t know that did I. I said well I am sick of offering and getting knocked back if X or Y had offered to take you, you would have gone like a shot. So I am not going to offer anymore, you know where I am if you want me and then she put the phone down on me.
What would you do?
If I don’t get in touch she will leave it as long as poss. Then quickly phone or send a very short text about something unrelated and would never dream of mentioning putting the phone down on me, apologising or referencing her bad behaviour.