I dont know if i am being unreasonable here.
its my birthday today. Ive been this guy for 2 years. I have known him for around 11 years.
we live together, we have a blended family.
It’s my birthday today. I received an email thismorning, a group email wishing me a happy birthday. There was a strange message on it from a work colleague who alluded to knowing something about us that others don’t, this person is someone my partner thought was in his circle of trust. It was odd but it has potential to create issues and gossip… to be clear we have no conflicts but there might be some perceived conflicts as we were in the same team at one point..
he got angry at the message, he wasnt angry at me but his anger took over the day. I said i was going to go for a walk at lunch for my birthday. I thought it might be nice to get lunch. The whole time he just spoke words of anger, he refused to eat or let me buy him anything for lunch to take home. By the end of the lunch break walk i didnt even feel like eating anything myself. Instead i felt like crying. It was about an hour of him saying horrible things and also feeling hurt himself as peopoe he has trusted appear to be gossiping.
we were working at his mums unit today, we drove there in one car. What a mistake that was. I felt like crying. I locked myself in the office, put my headphones on and worked for the rest of the day. I didnt come out and talk to anyone and he didnt come in and talk to me. When he picked his daughter up from school and brought her back he didnt bring her in to say happy birthday. She didnt even say happy birthday to me at all.. i know im an adult but it just felt horrible… the whole day felt horrible.
then we picked up my kids, the drive home was long. He did try to hold my hand once. But just once.. then aside from that we were both silent all the way home for 1.5 hours….
he picked up dinner. I wasnt hungry, i was sad. My girls could tell something was up, his daughter could tell. It was all sad and awkward. My yougest burst into tears at one point. I lost it at her as i was now sad and angry and i shouldnt have. I regret it.
i couldnt eat the dinner he bought, so i didnt. Im sure he got shitty at me.
i had a shower and went to our bedroom afterwards. He didnt follow. He just left me there pretty much all night. Until he came in and said are you going to open your presents…. Again awkwardness. I put on a fake smile while the kids were there.. then he gives me a card after saying i forgot to give this to you but you probably wont like it anymore….. it had something in there along the lines of saying thanks for being a great influence on us… so basically because i had been silent because he had been so angry i was meant to feel shit because i wasnt a good influence tonight.
i got teary and went to our room. Again, he didnt follow. He just left me….
i tried to talk to him later in the night, and he just said, oh right so its all my fault … and walked off. No empathy, nothing. And now he is in bed with his daughter. And its almost midnight and im on my own on the couch.
my whole birthday has been pretty shit. And i feel so bad for my kids that they had to witness it.
am i being silly? I dont expect a lot, just empathy, and love and patience. Moreso on a birthday… its not the first time he has ignored me like this when im sad… so im at a loss at what to do……
if you have read this far, thank you.