My partner is 50 and was with a woman before me for 10 years. They remained on friendly terms via the phone after they split in 2019. I met him in 2020 and had a completely mature approach to their bond until It became evident to me I was better off out of their unfinished emotional business. The sneaky texts. The constant mentions and the XXX on every message and calling eachother pet names it soon became disrespectful and he was refusing to put me first. I was miserable from the feeling I was sharing him and not able to be his only focus. We broke up. After 6 months it was said she moved on. Got a new Chap and as far as I know she's stopped contacting him. She's put her new relationship first.
The reason she split up from my boyfriend was Facebook and chatting to various women inappropriately behind her back. They also had other issues with money and different social lives. When I first met him and wasn't serious I was aware there were a few women getting a certain level of attention behind my back too.
When we split up I didn't ever expect to get back together. But 10 months ago we did. He had removed himself of all social media. The ex was gone. His phone was always on the side and we have had a much better run of things. I so struggle to trust him fully but we spend so much time together and he genuinely always wants me around. He's always wanting to spend time with me.
8 weeks ago he stopped wanting sex. I was OK for a few weeks but now it's hurting me. He just says he's not thinking about it. We used to have a really high drive and sex was a nightly/daily thing. It was exciting and passionate and we loved trying new things. We've spoke a few times now and he's explained he has no interest right now and he's struggling with his head.
He's been spending alot of time in the kitchen tapping away or bringing the phone to the sofa. He has no apps as such now and no numbers apart from a select few..none are women. He's always telling me he hates his phone and has nothing on it now and won't entertain social media. He's started over explaining it and his legs tapping when he's on it. Usually he claims its the footie scores or emails. But he will go check the score and 2 mins later say ahhh OK bla bla and it feels he's trying to prove an innocence.
I went on his phone last week and he'd deleted all pictures of him and our dog and I thought that was odd. Then today I went on gallery again to see he's screen shotted several photos of a married woman from his exes family. Hes even screen shot a photo of her kissing her partner and a pair of her feet in red heels.
Currently crying in the bath in private and unsure how I can deal with this. I can't say I've been snooping. I can't help but wander if he's not interested in sex now because of other women or he really is down. But why is he looking at another woman when he has no desire for me.