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Original poster

Help me see sense

23 replies

MrsFumbledore121 · 28/10/2023 13:01

So I’ve been seeing this guy for around 4 months. He is divorced with children, from a religious background.
Initially he seemed very together (good job, his own place) he was quite full on when we first started dating, taking about going on holidays and how he sees us living together etc which made me very weary and uneasy as I felt it was all too much too soon.
He then shared he occasionally takes drugs when at music festivals, however in the last couple of months this has escalated to nearly every weekend, including taking cocaine.
We see each other couple of times a week and are always in contact throughout the week. I really enjoy his company when we are together but I know I have to end this
please help me see sense, nothing good can come out if this can it?

OP posts:
EVHead · 28/10/2023 13:02

Trust your gut - it’s telling you the right things. End it now.

Notaboutthebass · 28/10/2023 13:03

No

Nannyfannybanny · 28/10/2023 13:04

For me personally, it would be a big no! I wouldn't want to get involved with someone who takes class A,s.

TwilightSkies · 28/10/2023 13:05

which made me very weary and uneasy as I felt it was all too much too soon.

Your intuition is trying to warn you. Always listen to it!

olderbutwiser · 28/10/2023 13:07

So he's a bit of a love-bomber and has increased his drug taking since you've been around. I'm guessing the 'religious background' means he has some views that may not be yours too.

Imagine your future - is that what you want?

Time to cut the cord.

Original poster
MrsFumbledore121 · 28/10/2023 13:19

@olderbutwiser yes, we do clash about certain views on women and feminism

OP posts:
IronNeonClasp · 28/10/2023 13:40

Get rid.

MissConductUS · 28/10/2023 13:42

Cocaine is highly addictive. Next.

WeeDove · 28/10/2023 13:44

Sounds like a sexist, love bombing druggie who'd be quick to judge/control you.

Mumaway · 28/10/2023 13:45

Just walk away. You don't want the fallout from that.

XiCi · 28/10/2023 14:20

The taking drugs at occasional music festivals wouldn't bother me. Taking coke every weekend would. I don't want to be with someone off their head every time we were out. The different views on women and feminism alone would be enough reason for me never to see him again

Original poster
MrsFumbledore121 · 28/10/2023 14:32

To clarify, he doesn’t take cocaine every weekend, it’s occasional, it’s usually pills/mdma that he takes 2-3 times a month

OP posts:
XiCi · 28/10/2023 15:05

I think you're minimising there because 2-3 times a month is virtually every weekend and if that's what he's admitting to you it's probably more. Being with someone on MDMA would be just as bad if not worse than someone that's taken a few lines. Having a night out with someone high from a tablet when you're sat there with half a lager would be so fucking annoying. Have you got children? Do you want someone that takes this many drugs around them? Or that has questionable views about women?

HerMammy · 28/10/2023 15:45

we do clash about certain views on womennever mind the coke

ChristmasFluff · 28/10/2023 15:45

Did you dream of spending your life with a drug addict when you were a little girl, OP?

The only reason to carry on seeing him is if you did.

but being too full on at the start is a huge red flag - and red flags do not mean 'enter the sea with caution' . They mean 'enter the sea and you will be swept away and might drown.'

Dery · 28/10/2023 15:56

@MrsFumbledore121 - you’ve only been with him 4 months and he’s already looking like a very poor prospect - a druggie, love-bombing misogynist. Please walk away. Life with him would be utterly miserable.

Fahbeep · 28/10/2023 16:00

MrsFumbledore121 · 28/10/2023 14:32

To clarify, he doesn’t take cocaine every weekend, it’s occasional, it’s usually pills/mdma that he takes 2-3 times a month

Yeah, this why he isn't married anymore... dump before he drags you down to his level.

HundredMilesAnHour · 28/10/2023 16:01

Every post you write @MrsFumbledore121 it gets worse. I don't understand why you haven't already ended it. How many red flags do you need?!

Jelllytot · 28/10/2023 16:03

Don't do it OP, you don't need someone so close to you be involved in such drugs.

Sounds like he's using religion as an excuse.to be sexist and misogynistic too.. if he claims to be so religious, I'm pretty sure his religion forbids it. Sounds like an idiot all round.

determinedtomakethiswork · 28/10/2023 16:08

You know if you dump him now then you will look back on this in the future and wonder why the hell you stayed with him this long.

AirFryerFrequentFlyer · 28/10/2023 16:42

There lots of men to date and have fun with who don't have an increasingly heavy drug habit.

Original poster
MrsFumbledore121 · 28/10/2023 17:34

Yes I do have a child, I’ve got no intentions of bringing this man in to my child’s life
he hasn’t always taken drugs, he’s been like this since his divorce,
he does not takes drugs when we are together, he goes out with friends and they do it together at parties etc
i appreciate everyone’s input, I know what I have to do, he often minimised the drugs and says everyone does it, it’s not a big deal

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsFumbledore121 · 28/10/2023 17:35

in the begining he was saying he will stop the partying but it seems to be increasing rather than the opposite

OP posts:
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