would u bother tokeep in contact with a friend who doesn't have time to meet up

[bigboydiditandranaway]

i used to see a friend quite regularly until she went back to work from maternity leave. Working 4 days a week, understandably, she has her hands full but we haven't seen each other for over a year, but we still send emails now and again.

I would like to meet up and did suggest that when she moved we could call round but they decided to stay where they are and there was no mention of meeting again.

She sent me a quick reply to an email a few weeks ago saying she would email me at the end of the week, she didn't! and i feel as though i'm wasting my time and i feel hurt that she hasn't bothered again.

What would u do?

I think it depends on the friendship. Some friends are meant for years and others are just passing through depending on your circumstances. There are people I met when on mat leave with DC1 who I lost touch with once I returned to work and there are others who have stayed in contact. Just depends on how well we got on and what our lives are like now. I have an old uni friend (friends for 10 years) who has been very distant for the last few years (ever since I had DC actually). I was upset about it last year after sending loads of texts and calling and often getting no reply. I am sounding a bit stalkerish but it wasnt like that! Just general 'hope you are well' texts sent over a few months. She is a Dr and works long unsociable hours so I never expected replies straight away but in the end I just thought why am I doing this? I eventually sent a text saying how I had tried to get in touch but as she hadnt replied I didnt want to continue doing all the chasing, etc and to wish her the best. She responded immmediatley by apologising and announced her engagement . I am pretty sure she had been engaged for a while but obviously had forgotten to tell me. I just thought that was it really. For whatever reason our friendship has changed and I have accepted it. If someone had sent me a text like I had sent her I would be making a huge effort to see them but she hasnt really. She called and left a message on my birthday suggesting we meet. I called back (no reply of course!) and said I would love too but it would have to be in the next few weeks as I have another baby due soon. That was 2 weeks ago and she still hasnt got back to me! I am not going to keep going over it. Yes I feel hurt but thats life. I have decided I will just leave it for now for her to get in touch which I doubt she will.

On the other hand I have a friend I have known for about the same length of time who I rarely see or hear from (She lives abroad).When we do get in touch we just pick up where we last left off. The difference is this is how its always been. Its not that she used to ring all the time and now she doesn't. Its the fact that my friendship has changed with the first person.

thanks for your messages and your time, i think i may wait till she replies and if she does i'll invite her round for coffee, but i won't hold my breath!