Husband doesn’t help when I’m sick

[Okaythenn]

dh said I’m ‘creating an issue’ because I had dared to hope he would take our 2 year old to nursery today. I’m ill plus 35 weeks pregnant and having really bad hip and leg pain.

2 weeks ago he was ill and spent 11 hours in bed a day and I did everything for him and our 2 year old working from home.

Yesterday he got up at 7pm and he was getting into bed at 8:30am. Our dd was playing in our bed half an hour prior whilst he played Xbox. He knew I was ill as we’d talked about it the day before but didn’t even bother helping to get her ready, pack her bag for nursery and expected me to walk 25 minutes to nursery when I’m struggling walking down the hall.

I told him from now on he can look after himself (I even have to wake him up in the evening) and he can shop and cook for himself and I will continue to look after myself and dd.

AIBU in expecting more compassion from him? Especially as I’m having a c section in 3 weeks and this is the level of care I can expect?

yanbu

this man is showing you what an uncaring selfish idiot he is — believe him. Try and get out before you have the baby because it’s only gonna get worse from here on in believe me.

I know it’s easier said than done when you have children. do you have any options?

Good for you! too many times we read half wits treating their ill partner with nothing but disdain. I hope you feel better soon. X

why are you still working from home at this late stage? I take it he works nightshift? why cant he stay awake for half an hour to take child to nursery? need to kick him to touch because you are making a rod for your own back!

YANBU. Mine was a bit like this and after he did not seem to get it (despite also taking himself to bed for days when he was ill) I told him I was better off leaving now than being stuck caring for him in old age knowing he wouldn’t be caring for me, this way I had a chance to find someone better. Good on you for having some boundaries, it’s hard enough when you’re pregnant with small children. Do not back down. ‘No, we are not ok. kind people who care about each other look after each other when ill. They parent their OWN children - that isn’t even looking after me, she’s your child. I can only conclude you are neither kind nor care about me. So I’m just saving all my energy for me and our child and our baby since we are on our own here.’