Similar experiences or advice on ex Husbands

[Seaqueen24]

Just wondered whether anyone has been through a similar experience with an ex - My ex Husband and I separated over a year and a half ago, the divorce was finalised early this year. The reason for the separation is that we grew apart and me not coping with his controlling behaviour, which albeit was over small things but constant, and it eventually had me walking on egg shells and effected my mental health (I am seeking counselling for this now).
I have since moved on and met someone else which wasn't planned but I fell pregnant and welcomed a gorgeous, healthy baby boy into my life.
The problem is, is that my ex husband doesn't know, he often messages me (out of boredom I think) as he is a bit of a loner and has fell out with alot of his friends over the past few years (he is quite a tunnel visioned, petty man). I have heard through the grapevine that he is on dating sites however, its obviously not working hence him still in contact with me. Telling him I have moved on isn't an option, as although he didn't treat me the best I also don't want to hurt him (I'm a bit of a soft s)
Has anyone else experienced guilt of moving on and being happy, do I need to stop worrying and being a people pleaser?

Telling him I have moved on isn't an option, as although he didn't treat me the best I also don't want to hurt him (I'm a bit of a soft s)

It's not soft or kind to let him think you're frozen in time and potentially an option - it's actually quite cruel if he's still hoping to rekindle.

Plus at some point he might found out about your child and partner, which would be pretty painful and unpleasant. And he might go out of his way to try to cause trouble between you and your new partner, potentially lying about what sort of contact there has been.

Since it was a controlling relationship, maybe you're more afraid of how he will react than anything? Which is understandable. It's also quite common for controlling partners to make you feel responsible for their mental wellbeing, but you're not and never were.

This isn't healthy for you or him. I'd advise you to stop contact, because he's been abusive.

Just change your number you don't have children together I understand you might be flattered by his attention but I'm really not sure why you wouldn't just tell him.the truth

Telling him I have moved on isn't an option, as although he didn't treat me the best I also don't want to hurt him
As long as you think this way you’re stuck. For your own wellbeing you absolutely do need to tell him you’ve moved on and you need to stop him contacting you.
If you keep on being this much of a “people pleaser” as you put it, you’ll have problems in every relationship you have - with your partner, children, family members and friends.

This is really a non-problem. Tell him you’ve moved on and block his number.

Thanks @Theunamedcat im definitely not flattered by it as its making me quite ill and wish it would stop. I think the best option is to just block him. I really don't see why telling him the truth will make it easier. If anything I think it'll make him worse.

Thanks @category12 Yes you're right, I'm scared if his reaction as I that's how he is. I don't really see why I need to tell him my personal affairs as we are divorced and that should be closure. I'm going to block his number

Telling the truth (and then blocking him) very firmly draws a line under it.

Dear X. Please stop contacting me. I have moved on since I last saw you. I am
happy in my new family and do not wish to dwell on the past. Seaqueen.