Is there anyone else out there like me? Who has been abused and feels like they just don’t fit in.

[Flutterby10]

Via therapy I worked out it was put there by my mum, the hole that is.

I later went on to enter a long abusive marriage, which I’ve been out of for years now.

I just have this hole inside of me. This feeling like I don’t fit it. Normal life I find challenging. Fitting in with people who don’t have this past I just can’t seem to manage. I find people reject me and this is very painful for me.

Im good at masking it for a while but then the weight of the past often catches up with me. I just seem to fold life hard and people challenging and end up withdrawing. When I’ve talked about things in the past to people I find they often don’t really care so withdrawing feels like the best thing to do. I also find myself getting so jealous of others who have nice supportive families and nice lives. Like what is it about me, what did I do so wrong..

Oh lovely you've not alone
I can remember feeling like this a long time ago.
It's taken a long time, a lot of inner work , self reflection and self awareness,some therapy and a huge change of attitude, but I can honestly say, hand on heart , the hole as gone.
Jealousy is a normal emotion- it's just telling you what direction to take your life.
I now see this ad helpful, and start changing my life in the right direction and feel grateful to these people for helping me see that
Then I no longer feel jealous of these people