Worried about friend

[TeaforTheWins]

I’m very worried about a dear friend from school.
We were each others Maid of Honour and have been friends since school. She got divorced a number of years ago and over the last 6 or so years has been in a relationship.
He is more or less a recluse. He doesn’t work and spends his days playing video games, watching films and occasionally walking the dog.
Over the last few years I have noticed that every time my friend wants to go out or to see her friends or family there is some big drama at home, he’s having a mental health crisis or is extremely and suddenly very unwell.
In the past this has made her have to come home early from a holiday, missing a work
trip, miss family birthdays and have to leave work in the middle of the day.
Recently she has opened up to me that her mental health has been suffering a great deal and she believes it’s to do with her family, and her partner has said that this is why he doesn’t like her to spend time with her family, and thinks she shouldn’t see them.
This is ringing huge alarm bells to me - her family are lovely, yes they have their problems like a lot of family’s do but I feel this is another way to isolate her away from her support network.
I really don’t know what to do, her sister has reached out to me too as she’s worried about her being so isolated and having to keep rushing home every time he calls her.
I have spoken to her mum but she’s so
worried about making it worse that she doesn’t want to say anything, she thinks that if she’s just nice and friendly to the partner then he’ll realise that she should be seeing her friends and family.
Sorry this is so long, I’m not sure what else I can do to get advice.
Thank you
PS long time poster but name changed for this one as it’s a personal issue

You are right to worry, OP. He is trying to isolate her and deliberately cause problems in her work and relationships. It's a common way for abusers to control their partner. It has happened to a lot of us. This guy sounds absolutely ghastly quite apart from that. He doesn't work, he slobs around all day and invents fake illnesses to trap her at home. What good does he bring to your friend's life?

Do you live near your friend? Perhaps you and her sister could "pop in" unexpectedly and whisk her off for a day out before Slobbo has time to object. Your poor friend sounds like she is deep in Fear, Obligation and Guilt, so she may need some gentle talking to. Does she own or rent her home? Can she kick him out or ask her LL if she can end the lease early? This is no way to live, and she needs to bin him before it gets worse. She is lucky to have you and DSis looking out for her.

"He is more or less a recluse. He doesn’t work and spends his days playing video games, watching films and occasionally walking the dog. "

This

"Over the last few years I have noticed that every time my friend wants to go out or to see her friends or family there is some big drama at home, he’s having a mental health crisis or is extremely and suddenly very unwell."

Controlling and Possessive.

If the above is true, then I what your friend is waiting for?

Could she try and move out, did they move in quickly?

She’s owns the house, and he lives there and obviously contributes 0 to bills and mortgage as he doesn’t work

She also has never said she’s up happy in the relationship - she’s the one always running to his every need and cancelling plans last minute when he calls her in a state. it’s her sister and I who have raised our concerns with each other.

So your friend essentially has an abusive cocklodger?

😫😫😫

Well if it's her house and he contributes nothing he has no legal right to be there, she could call the police and ask them to escort him out if he refuses to leave. Could you get her alone and point this out to her.