Wondering how to spend 1st Christmas without parents & with difficult sibling

[Italee]

Hello, please does anyone whose been through anything similar have ideas on how I can deal with this: is how to spend Christmas, as this will be the first one without both parents.
I have 2 siblings; no1 has a family and they have always spent Christmas day on their own, inviting no2 & me to them one day after, but never decide on a date until a few days beforehand.
No2 is single and we used to go home over Christmas for a couple days. He is moody and can be argumentative, grumpy & fault-finding – but not always; hence I want to spend some time with him but not too much. I feel he is probably lonely sometimes and may look to me for company over Christmas & make me feel guilty if I don’t, even though we’ve don’t always get along.
Also, I’ve often dreamt of going somewhere warm for Christmas but it seems like a big step to say to both brothers that I won’t be seeing them at all around then.
Whatever the three of us do this Christmas may become set in stone for the next few years…
Thank you if you’ve read this far; any ideas how I should negotiate the subject with my two siblings and any suggestions of a good way (something a bit different) to spend some time together?

Hi OP, I wrote pretty much exactly the same post on here a few months ago. My brother and I have a difficult relationship and he told me he didn't want to spend Christmas with me (parents both passed away, single and no other family). It hurt a lot initially however, with the help of the lovely posters on here, their advice was to go away. And that is what I am doing, fly out on the 26th for a week in Tenerife. My Christmas day will be spent getting excited about my holiday and packing bikinis!
If you have the means, take advantage of not having to deal with the Christmas stress, it is just a day and as others have said, arrange to meet your family, before or after Christmas.
Fly away!

Book a fabulous holiday and don’t worry about it. Go and enjoy yourself. It’s not your responsibility to look after your adult brother, especially as he sounds grumpy and unpleasant. The other brother is already prioritising his family (fair enough) and only telling you at the last minute when you can come, so don’t worry about him either. You can arrange to see them either together or separately after Christmas or in the New Year at some point. Absolutely no need to sacrifice your wants/needs for theirs, they’re adults.

Don't be passive and wait for your siblings to make a move!

Decide what you want to do and plough your own furrow.

Somewhere hot sounds marvellous! You can visit your siblings anytime - or why don't you all go out for a family meal before or after Xmas and make it a new tradition?

I think you need to present it as a done deal. So, 'this year I'm going somewhere warm, who would like to meet up and swap presents before/after on XX date? Any pushback say something about needing a changes this year as its the first one without parents.

Go away. You don’t owe your moody nasty brother anything. Why the hell would you spend Christmas with him?!

This.

You need to think long and hard about the precedent that you set.

Book your holiday.

Tell them after the booking or wait until they ask.

There is no way in hell I would start a regular Christmas day hosting.

Tell them you will see them OUT for a dinner on a date that will suit you all.

Women in familys get caught for this type of gig if they are not careful.

Have you a partner or would you like a family in the future?

If so, do not start this.

Its a big enough commitment with an adored sibling, too much with a difficult one.

When I was much young I bent myself out of shape trying to help and fix a grumpy family member who was single.

Utterly thankless.

Best thing I ever did was to put a complete stop to it.

Book the somewhere warm, 100%