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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why can't I move on

1 reply

Fourhorses · 24/10/2023 22:52

Husband and I separated more than a year ago. He moved back in a few months ago, health stuff and we are now looking for a more permanent solution, buying a second home.

I have instigated it, we are not a pair, not in love, can barely communicate, no banter, no joy, it's dead and grim and has been for a long time.

The thing is we are both loyal to firstly the kids and eachother, but sometimes I wonder are we just cowards who can't follow through with the break up and what does that say about us? What is wrong with me if I know we are so poorly suited (shame on us), we are good people but just stuck in this trauma and can't get out. It's really affecting us as a family. Why are we so afraid, or are we just so attached to the family unit that we are wasting our time contemplating a break up and live in a sub par marriage instead and accept it.

Please some advice, it is beyond ridiculous and althoughy there's no rowing I feel so sorry for the kids, but even worse when I think of a break up. This has been going on for years.

OP posts:
4naansjeremy · 25/10/2023 09:11

Is your husband on the same page as you? Does he agree with you regarding the need to end your relationship?

You say that you instigated the separation. What did your husband say at this time?

How old are your children? What were they told when you were living separately and what were they told when your husband moved back in?

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