Does it make you feel bad too?
I’ve read so much psychology over the years that says that you must be co-dependent/ enmeshed if the moods of others affect you.
I find myself feeling very disconcerted if I get home and say hello to DH and he’s randomly very grumpy/ uncommunicative. When I get in the back door he doesn’t say hi. Yesterday when I arrived home with 10 bags of food shopping, he didn’t offer to help me bring them in the house but as soon as I’ve packed it away will appear to eat everything.
When I ask whether he’s in a bad mood, he says that he just wants to load an app onto the TV.
Ive been entertaining DD night and day for 4 whole days now whilst juggling house work, food shopping and larger jobs like de-cluttering.
DH has been in a fine mood up until today and as a teacher, I’ve been lapping up the quality time with DD but today, I got in from a lovely day out with DD and DH had been at home for a couple of hours alone and was in a grumpy mood, bemoaning the fact he’d wanted to watch star-wars but now that was out the window making me feel not welcome in my own home.
Instead of being at least polite and friendly he was just really shitty and when DD asked if he’d carve a pumpkin with her I said “ask daddy because I’ve done lots with you this week”, she asked him and he was cross with her and said he was trying to upload Disney Plus on our TV.
Eventually, he uploaded the app and said well that was a waste of time and threw the remote on the sofa. I said why don’t you watch it on the TV upstairs and he said in a very angry voice with an angry face, it’s on there now. I said that I thought he’d said it was a waste of time because he’d not succeeded in sorting it out. He just walked off.
I hate that he can take the wind out of my sails by suddenly being in a bad mood and infecting the vibe in the house.
I was in such a good mood after a lovely day with DD and thought he’d be happy that he’d had a couple of hours to himself before we got home but instead I was met with grumpiness.If he didn’t want me to take it personally then he should have told me why he was being so moody rather than acting out all evening.
In the end I asked him to do bath time and shut myself in our bedroom to get a bit of time alone. He burst through the door and said and I told him that I need some time alone (which is what I generally say when I feel angry but don’t have the energy to argue.) He spat that he needed his dressing gown.
It’s like living with Jekyll and Hyde. He’s got this grumpy, dark personality that comes out from time to time and most of the time he’s nice. What could be going on?
We are having couples therapy on the weekend so perhaps I’ll be able to broach it then.