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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

No sex after 19 months intimacy is at a minimum

3 replies

Dad12345678910 · 24/10/2023 17:45

Hello all

need some help

me and my parter had our little boy nearly s year ago

my first her second

bit of background

my stance is im very open and communicative

she was very closed of after getting pregnant and having the pregnancy from hell

she literally turned over night and im not exaggerating

got told she doesnt love me any more doesnt know if she wants our family got locked out few times for a week if not longer

our relationship was never perfect we was dating for over a year seeing eachother little while before but we both fell in love with eachother and she still to this say the love of my life

i see our other little boy as my own and have done and would keep on doing anything and everything for them

she was by all means a horrible person last year and to this day still has her moments but don't we all

so yeah the intimacy is non existent apart from having legs on me while watching tv having a chilled night together

i dont live with her as we are saving due to me sleeping at my parents etc its cheaper which doesnt mean easier just means we can enjoy and do the garden up etc

but yeah she doesnt express how she feels like i do which doesnt mean she has to be me and follow my every point but be nice to have her just tell me randomly if she loves me or misses me

ontop that no sex at all which i understand not easy for a mother to give birth one of the hardest things when there is nothing other than ive said is it normal ? Any ideas on what i can do

her friends and family say im supporting them so well and doing right by them and her

there is nothing that woukdnt be done for her and my family

please someone help me and just talk to me lol

im very anxious and read into things but dont think its just that

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 24/10/2023 17:55

It sounds like you need to end it and just focus on being a good dad

KateyCuckoo · 24/10/2023 18:00

Sounds like she just used you to get pregnant.

Opentooffers · 24/10/2023 18:02

If you don't live together, then does that mean she does all the caring for your baby, all the night feeds, while having another DC too? There's only so much support you can be from a distance, and it won't be much for a single mum of 2.
The thing is, you should be being a family, but you can't while apart. Who is it cheaper for while you live at home? For just you maybe? Was there an end in sight, a plan to live together, a time frame for that to happen?
You might have to accept that she doesn't love you and try to co-parent effectively. In fact, if you accept it and claim you are fine with moving on - even if you are not - it might make her realise that she can't just use you as her emotional punch-bag. Whatever you do, don't beg for scraps, as that is not attractive in anyone's mind.

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