Ex partner and hospital tests

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

I finished with my ex over 2 years ago now at the age of 40 after a very long relationship that began at university. He became verbally abusive, gaslighting and so on. He also denied having said all the things he did, well he would, wouldn't he? Looking back over it, I was able to spot things I'd missed or discounted, too.

He's kept in touch sporadically mainly by text but the odd phone call. I don't mind so long as it is very low key, not very often, not abusive and he doesn't expect me to go back to him. I've made it clear it is not happening.

Today he's at hospital having some tests carried out. He told me he may have leukaemia. Of course I hope he doesn't. He was diagnosed with haemachromatosis around the time the verbal abuse and nastiness started to gain momentum.

How has anyone else coped with this? I obviously feel sorry for him, but it wouldn't make me take him back.

Well, the simple answer is, you don't cope with it. There's little you need to cope with. Of course it's sad, which you've acknowledged, then move on. We all hear of bad things happening to acquaintances and that's what he is now. We have empathy and we continue our lives..don't be drawn in to carer mode or anything else due to a potential diagnosis, it changes nothing for you at all.

What's in it for you in maintaining contact with him? You say you don't mind, which is hardly enthusiastic 😀So are you just allowing it because you're afraid of his reaction if you ended up completely or because you feel sorry for him?

He emotionally abused you.

You're not responsible for him in any way. Drop the rope.

He's not your friend and you don't owe him anything.

Why are you still in touch with him.
You need to not engage with him anymore

I’m confused as to why you are maintaining contact. Wish him well but tell him that you will no longer respond to his contact.

@AgentJohnson I'm not maintaining contact, in that I never initiate it. He did message yesterday to say that it is related to haemachromatosis and he doesn't have anything more sinister, and I wished him the best in response to that.

Well that is good news for him and good news for you cos now you can wish him well for the future , tell him it is time to move on, say goodbye and block him.
You only have to do this once.

You are maintaining it by replying to him.
Block him and move on with your life.

He is an abusive ex. What benefits do you have allowing him to contact you? Block him. It's not 'normal' behaviour to keep an ex informed of your health status. He is trying to draw you back in. Block him and be happy. No need to feel guilty doing this 💐

If you reply, you are maintaining contact as that is contacting him in response. Either way, please block him, his messages are not doing you any good.

I know a couple of people with hemochromatosis, they are not nasty or abusive.
It sounds like he's using his condition to manipulate you into keeping contact.
Tbh the best thing you can do is not reply, even better just block.

In the people I know with the condition one is just getting regular blood tests and monitoring, the other donates blood to keep iron levels low.

As others have said, responding is maintaining contact. Just block the guy.

I can never understand why people keep in contact with an ex. The only reason is if you have dc surely. If you like him that much why did you break up? Any way stop texting him.

I've never said that I like him that much, have I? Why did I break up - all in my OP.

Block him then