First date after 22 years

[BlastedPimples]

So i met this man on FB dating.

We texted a lot and after a week had a date last Friday. I find him physically very attractive.

It wasn't great. After flirty texting, we were both so nervous and awkward. Conversation didn't flow and normally I can talk to anyone easily. No kiss or anything.

However, we continued to text and occasional telephone call. It's ok.

He wants me to video call and perhaps get a bit sexual over the 'phone. I'm not keen. His last text was, "Well, maybe it's something I like to do. I give up now. Good night and sleep well." Which sounds a bit petulant to me.

We are supposed to meet next week but I just think he sounds like the kind of man who might sulk if he doesn't get what he wants.

Shall I knock it on the head? I really fancy him but perhaps that's partly because it's my first experience after so many years.

You've had one date, which wasn't great and he's already trying to pressure you into doing something sexual that you aren't comfortable with.

No. knock it on the head.

Dump him, and tell him to contact a sex phone line if that's what he wants.

Gross. No.

Yuk. Bin him immediately

Yuk, I’m sorry this was your first experience with dating. Unfortunately loads of men want to turn the conversation sexual early. If you don’t want to them that’s fine, they should accept it, it’s his petulant attitude that’s the problem.

Yep bin him off. You’ll experience these types using OLD .

You start to develop a thicker skin and a better red flag radar pretty quickly.

Lordy - no. Hes one to throw back. Talk to more men.

Why haven’t you knocked it on the head? The date was shit, before he started trying to sext.

you owe men nothing. You don’t need to give blokes a ‘chance’ if they don’t do it for you

No, l think one to throw back in the pool! Theres plenty of these types on dating sites. The petulant attitude has shown you who he is, so a lucky escape!

Big fat no.

I met a guy when I was OLD who was very keen over messages, told me I was great, we were going to get on really well, etc.

We met and there was no spark whatsoever - he was quiet and boring and made no effort. I guess he didn't fancy me in the flesh but that's fine and is why you meet in person (the feeling was mutual anyway), but just beware of the over the top declarations/messaging before you have even met.

As for wanting to get sexual over the phone when it sounds like he couldn't even hold a conversation in person - hell no!

In my experience the guys that try and get flirty and sexual over the phone - are the guys that are wasting your time.
It's fine that you didn't want to get into a sexy video or telephone call - he petulant attitude to you saying no is the problem.

Personally I wouldn't bother continuing this one.

Sorry your first experience was so bad. Keep the faith - there are good guys out there - you just have to sift through the trash to find them. Good Luck. :)

To be fair, I was enjoying the flirting via text. I initiated that side of things.

We did discuss a few things that could have been sexual. A bit of history, what we definitely don't like. But just touched upon it.

So. I don't think it came out of the blue per we.

Get rid. He'll get sexual then disappear as soon as he's got want he wants. The eternal dance of men vs women, natures cruel joke 😂

I actually don't think I'd mind getting sexual and him disappearing. But it's just a bit weird that he was keen to show himself over the 'phone.

OP -dating is a numbers game. Kindly, you are putting too much thought into this one man that you have met once. You need to dismiss him and keep going until you meet someone you like and connect with, at least on some level. You might be lucky and it could be the next guy. Or you more likely you will be like most of us and probably have to talk to 100+ frogs before you find your prince. It's a tiresome process but that's the dating game I'm afraid. You need to get the hang of being decisive. Not working for you? Let him know, block and then onto the next one.

Also - I am a fan of meeting guys as soon as possible. You can waste a lot of time chatting to someone online and seemingly thinking it'll go somewhere, then you meet them and it just doesn't work at all. But same can work in reverse ime - someone can be pleasant enough via text but not really spark your interest, but meet them in person and somehow it gels a lot better.

He wants me to video call and perhaps get a bit sexual over the 'phone. I'm not keen. His last text was, "Well, maybe it's something I like to do. I give up now. Good night and sleep well." Which sounds a bit petulant to me.

Yeah, he got the huff because you wouldn't partake in this 'thing he likes to do'. Which quite honestly isn't like he is asking you to watch football or visit a museum or some normal activity you are just a bit unkeen on.

And this is after 1 date.

I think he has shown you what you can expect in the future. You say no, he gets the huff and makes you feel bad.
Stick to your boundaries.
Oh, and get rid of this one.

OP - if you don’t mind's ‘getting sexual and him disappearing.’ - then just go at your pace and don’t worry about how he might be in a relationship.
Just be firm with your boundaries and do only what YOU’d like to do.

You fancy him - and it’s perfectly OK to just want a short term encounter on your terms. Especially after a very long time of not dating /(not being in a good relationship?)