I have never felt insecure in my marriage until now...

[alexis97]

Taking to Mumsnet because I'm having such a shitty time right now and you guys always know how to support...

I have been with my husband now 4 years married for 2, and we are expecting our second child.

My husband has recently started a new career, I won't say which job role it is, however there is reputation in this service for the people to sleep around with colleagues and have flirty banter.

I know my husband would never cheat, but since he started the role I have never felt disrespected like I do now, he has come home and told me about comments to female co-workers which I have completely flew off the handle about, told me he has been asked on dates and tonight after scrolling my instagram feed have saw him liking photos of this co worker with her back tattoo and underwear on display, and photos of her with her boobs out in tight little dresses. When confronted I asked him why he thought this was appropriate and he said "I've don't know her that well, we don't work in the same department" which made me lose my shit even more. I've never been a jealous wife and I've always taken great care of him. I'm 6 months pregnant and I'm totally fed up of feeling disrespected, but am I being unreasonable? I know many women in my shoes would flip.. I packed my bags and was ready to leave to go stay elsewhere for a few days but he convinced me not to leave, said I'm his wife and he only wants me, if he wanted anyone else he wouldn't be bothered if I left, that he's sorry and understands why... but why do it if that's the case?

Why did he do it? Possibly just got carried away with the banter at the office and wanted to be 'part of the group'.

And the reason why you felt disrespected is because he has been acting disrespectful, and I suspect the liking of the images and flirty texts is just part of it. His language and demeanour had probably shifted slightly as well, just enough that you probably can't put your finger on it.

Just make it clear what your boundaries are and what the consequences will be if he crosses those boundaries.

Also, make sure you are financially stable enough yourself to follow through if you need to. Once you have DC2 plan a return to work and make sure childcare is funded out of a joint pot. Go back to work regardless of whether it costs more for childcare than work pays. Working gives you confidence and choices.

Have you discussed boundaries together in the past? If he hasn't actually done anything besides be on social media it's hard to say he's crossed a line, especially if a line has never been drawn. You need to discuss expectations so you're both on the same page.

I would also find this inappropriate. If he doesn't know her very well and they don't work in the same department, then why is he looking up her profile and commenting on her provocative photos when he's a married man.

Sorry OP it is disrespectful 💐. I would be concerned that his looking up her profile and commenting on those photos is because she caught his eye and he likes what he's seen... And potentially, would like to get to know her more than hes saying he does.

I would find it bloody disrespectful too OP

Yes thats incredibly disrespectful. I'd of lost my shit too.

If he can't be man enough not to partake in the male banter in the office and can't stop himself from commenting and liking his colleagues half naked images,if he is too weak to show respect for his wife, then he needs to get a job in another industry where this isn't rife. As he appears not to have much control, does he, poor lamb.

However, that doesn't take away the fact that he was seemingly fully immersing himself in all that as soon as he got the chance to.

Can you actually trust he'll stop doing all that? Or will he just hide it all better?