NC but long time poster. Posting as genuinely worried about my relationship and feeling really down.
My DS is 2 and quite frankly, hard work. He’s always been a terrible sleeper, had colic as a newborn and now we are into toddler tantrums.
me and DH both work full time (financially can’t go part time) and we are both tired, me more than him as I just get tired easier.
without going into too much detail I had a long time recovering from birth (many months), we don’t have much help so rare chance for date nights and a rest (both sets of parents live far away)
we rarely have sex, which is mainly my fault. With the long recovery and trauma from birth I didn’t feel like it, plus exhaustion from DS. Then adjusting back to work and tired again.
DS has picked up every bug going which I have caught so I’ve been ill on and off for months which hasn’t helped.
DH is upset with me because our sex life is rare, says I don’t appreciate him and that I’m all about our son and I don’t make enough effort with him. Says he doesn’t understand how I’m still tired and getting ill all the time. And now can’t see how we will go back to how we were before kids as it’s been like this for so long. He doesn’t want to talk further with me he said that’s just it.
I feel awful and worried he’s going to leave me because I’m not having sex with him enough. I don’t know how I can make our situation easier as I’m genuinely so exhausted. I’m trying my best but it doesn’t feel good enough. Am I a terrible partner? I don’t know how to do better without pushing through exhaustion.