Hey!
So I’ve been in a slow burning relationship for about 2 years. We were slow to start because of life choices (I have a young child, run a business and ride horses). It started off super intense but I realised I was dealing with some massive anxious attachment issues. So I worked hard on myself and we stayed in touch and would meet up regularly.
Then last summer we both felt ready to commit and so we became exclusive and have very much enjoyed our year so far. He’s my best friend and I am his. I have never met someone who will disagree with me, get cross with me and then work through it with me. It’s been a total eye opener of a relationship.
We don’t live together. I’m at a point in my life where I don’t want to have someone living with me and my son. I’ve done the marriage thing and I absolutely love what we have right now. For me, doing the moving in thing just isn’t an option - I love our long weekends together and I’d like to keep the magic that way!
He works in a really intense job and so often when he’s working, he can’t talk during the day but we still message - just the standard “how’s your day” kind of thing. But what I’ve noticed is that I kind of just go into “protect myself” mode during his working day.
I almost create another version of him in my head - like I forget all the wonderful days we spent together prior to our time apart. And so then, he literally can’t say anything right - I just end up feeling crap because he isn’t sending me messages professing his love for me in every other message… And why should he?! He’s busy at work - and whilst im sure he thinks of me fondly during his working day, I don’t think he has the mental capacity to write eloquent love messages…
But despite me knowing this… I still feel like crap!
I would love to hear some thoughts on how to manage this as it’s really frustrating!
Thanks :)