Together because of the children

[Philoso]

At what point do you decide to separate. I feel we are only together for the children now, they are very young. We don't argue but there is resentment and unhappiness. Been together 16 years and both age 32 but I don't know what's going on anymore.

I know the feeling got 4 children and just got back with mine after 10 week break and feel like iv made the worsted dission

Iv been with mine 14 years I'm 28

Same, been with my husband for 10 years, 3 children together but we have absolutely nothing between us. Can spend no time together, both ran down and unhappy and rarely sleep together. But I love him and desperately want things to work out

Will you be happy for your kids to follow your example and choose to be miserable with their future spouse? If not, why? This is what you’re teaching them is normal, and you’re blaming them for it, as if you’re being altruistic

A friend of mines parents divorced when the youngest child graduated from university. When asked 'why now', they said they had been unhappy for years but wanted to wait til the children were independent. Friend has carried that burden ever since. Please don't do that to your DC.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

You're risking your children having warped ideas of loving relationships by staying with someone you clearly don't love.

Staying together 'for the kids sake' is ridiculous. You should LEAVE for their sake.

I think the fact that you got together as 16yos matters here. This is a usual situation for people who meet as teenagers.

You were kids. You had no life experience. You grew up together and changed.
And now you are adults - still young enough to meet people who would fit your grown up selves better.

Move on and live your lives. Kids will be OK. Divorces happen and kids adjust.

i also got together with my exH when i was 16, married at 19.

We lasted 11 years but it was clear that things had run their course at about year 7-8. you will know when the time is right to end it.

i know a couple like this, and rumour is affairs also in the mix.