Mother in law arguments leading to divorce

[Laurabeee]

I have a 7 week old baby and the stress caused by mother-in-law undermining me is causing huge arguments in my marriage. It started when I was pregnant with a lot of intrusive comments and pressure to sort out various home renovation projects we had going on. When he was born she started coming round to the house unannounced and demanding to see him. I said that I wanted to not stress and just enjoy my baby. I have been struggling with breast feeding and getting used to looking after my baby and just didn’t need this. My husband says he doesn’t want to be the “middle man”.

I desperately wanted this baby after several losses and I’m heart broken that I have to consider getting divorced to get away from this level of stress.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Did you manage to overcome the problems?

As your Dh doesn't have your back at the minute (and hopefully a conversation about where his priorities lie, and a quick google for him of FOG - Fear, Obligation Guilt which is why he panders to his Mother) is there anyone else who can be with you? Mum? Friend?

You are completely right, you do not need this negative woman with her unwanted opinions. Don't answer the door, it doesn't matter that she knows you are in, you don't open it. I know this feels overwhelming but you can do this.

Set your own boundaries with her. Be firm.
Guilt motivated relationships are hard to understand as an outsider, but she will trained him from birth.
Don't let her come between you. I had to stop inviting Mil and leave my husband to make arrangements after we had we agreed what she was and wasn't welcome to.
It's hard, but doable. Don't let hit guard down for a minute.