So I met a guy OLD in Sept 2022, spent about 2 months together but he was then travelling around Asia for 2 months, pre planned. We kept in touch for the whole time messages/calls and all was fine. He came back and all fine again spending time together where we could, but over Xmas things were so hectic I started pushing him away and felt like he was getting a bit clingy and contact faded due to me. I think at this point I wasn’t quite ready for a relationship or or a full on relationship anyhow, and I backed off completed. He went back to Sweden early 2023 for work (he’s always worked some time in UK/Sweden) has property out there, residency etc.
We kept in touch the whole time he was working away, and very quickly we’re back to constant messages/calls and those feelings came back and I could start to picture us being together when he came back to the UK. He’s such a nice guy, so kind. Really cares about me, zero red flags etc.
He’s now back in the UK perm, got a perm job over here, given up his property etc, as he wants to make a go of things, no guarantee for us it will work but we want to try and he’s made all the right steps to show me he’s committed to me and a life in the UK perm.
Anyway to my actual question, obviously he hasn’t met my children yet but my kids only go to their dads EOW so we don’t get a great deal of time together. My eldest who is almost 16 very rarely goes to his dads so getting time alone is really tough. Been taking odd days annual leave etc to spend time together but I’m wondering how soon to introduce him to the kids, as a friend to start with. I’m conscious that really I’ve only physically been seeing him 2/3 months and I always said I wouldn’t introduce anyone to the kids until over a year, but officially it has been over a year, so I’m after peoples opinions. Is it too soon? I wanted to see how things panned out. And although it’s still early days I feel pretty confident.
My ex introduced his new girlfriend to the kids within a few weeks, and they’ve taken it well and all settled now. Although 2 wrongs don’t make a right and all that.
I have zero concerns, he really cares for me. I can completely be myself with him. He’s showed a commitment to making it work by coming back to UK perm. And is so kind. Travelled 40mins on Friday night in the floods just to pick me up from a night out and make sure I got home and then drove home again. He isn’t phased by me having kids. Understands although doesn’t have his own, he is happy to meet them and be part of their lives. He’s very calm and patient.
He’s not pushing to meet them it’s more me thinking about it, he is happy to wait until we’re ready. We’ve talked at length about what caused me to push him away last time, and he’s taken that on board and that I need space and time and want to build it up slowly so all good there.