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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feeling sad

7 replies

Lollipopbaby · 22/10/2023 01:05

Recently I had a miscarriage and trying to get over it . Not in a good mood for anything , at times feeling moody, insecure.. recently got into a huge argument with my hubby. All along he was in a jogging/ cycling app whereby there’s event hosted by different company . All along I’m ok and fine with it . Then till days ago . Like around 11.30pm there’s a notification from that jogging app. So I went to take a look , it’s a lady who likes his post. Then out of curiosity because all along I thought it’s an app to track your running record etc I don’t know there’s a function to like / message / contact , similar to Facebook kind. So I went into the app to view my hubby’s pose , this particular girl was like , liking all of his post . Then i felt uncomfortable ., as hubby was asleep , I didn’t ask him anything but deep in my heart I was thinking a lot .
my hubby didn’t like any post or follow anyone in the app , it’s me , my own feeling , insecurities rises again . I was controlling myself not to ask him anything , but my behaviour n face expression couldn’t hide from him . So he came to ask me , is there anything bothering You ? I intended to keep quiet but in the end I asked him about the app. I asked her if he know this lady , he said No, he doesn’t know who she is .
what can he do etc .
from that moment on , he’s angry .
and I seriously regretted . In future I won’t tell him anything about my feeling anymore .anyone could advise me what Should I do , I’m feeling upset .

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 22/10/2023 07:54

Leave him and get some counselling.

Richie23 · 22/10/2023 08:02

I mean, definitely don’t just leave him - especially as it doesn’t sound like he’s done anything.
But definitely chat to him about your insecurities. If you’re a partnership then he’ll listen to how you’re feeling even if he doesn’t agree with it. He can then give you reassurance.
If you decide not to talk to him about your feelings then that’s not a healthy relationship.
I’m not surprised that he got annoyed though - I’d be annoyed if my husband went through my phone secretly and then questioned things based on very little evidence of anything.
Perhaps you do need to speak to someone outside of the relationship so you can get your feelings and insecurities out there - maybe someone professional if you think it might stem from deeper issues.

Lollipopbaby · 23/10/2023 03:45

hmm I don think there’s a need to leave as hubby didn’t do anything or have an affair etc
it’s my part of feeling I need to settle …

OP posts:
Shraree · 23/10/2023 04:06

It sounds like he's on Strava or similar and yes, it's really, really normal for people to like each other's runs. Unlike Facebook, people who hardly know each other do this - particularly if you run similar routes. The problem with your relationship is:

  • you don't trust him. Why?
  • you can't express your feelings without him getting grumpy. Again, why?
The app is almost irrelevant here. But there are communication and trust issues you need to resolve.
Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 23/10/2023 05:24

DustyLee123 · 22/10/2023 07:54

Leave him and get some counselling.

Leave him? Because a woman interacted with his posts on a fitness app??

SpringleDingle · 23/10/2023 07:37

My DP is on Strava and randoms often like his runs or comment. It’s normal and he has done nothing wrong. However a miscarriage can really make you very very sad and a bit messed up. I was definitely not myself for a long time after mine. You need to talk to your H about your feelings and maybe get some counselling.

Lollipopbaby · 23/10/2023 10:49

I guess I’m feeling emotionally because I just had a miscarriage in August 2023.I’m feeling uncomfortable . This girl not randomly like one of two post . Of course if randomly like the post I’m fine

she’s liking every single one
which irritate me . I asked hubby does he know her
he said no and i trust him

I just don’t understand why is there such thick skin people
that she don’t even know this person she’s like stalking and liking every single post … and plus he’s a married man.( he posted pictures of kids n me too)

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