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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this emotional abuse I don’t know

4 replies

Summerberry22 · 21/10/2023 20:55

So my partner had come back from work and had asked me what was up with me , so I told him I really don’t know I’m so down . I have been really depressed for a long time to be honest and not having energy for anything . After I had told him I don’t know he had said “I’m not being funny don’t give me that bs about you don’t know because you never know and your upset bevause your ex messaged asking to see little one “ now this isn’t the case I told him a few days before my ex had messaged me who I was in a dv relationship with , I told him I was so down and it stops me from cleaning and he said yeah same to be honest it stops me to . I have no idea why he brought up my ex .

Then starts to raise his voice at me and say to me I’ve been working my ass off all day doing heavy lifting from 7am to 4pm and sometimes 7pm and I come home to a messy home it looks like you haven’t touched a thing and don’t feel sorry for yourself either bevause even on days I feel down I still go to work and do what I have to do .

when I’m really depressed which I don’t know I really don’t know why I do get down it’s a struggle for me and I have 2 kids who are 3 and 1 . I kept telling him if he could sit down and communicate properly like an adult instead of raising your voice, and he wouldn’t . He says to me after what are you gonna say to your therapist when you have your first therapy session next week are you just gonna tell her you don’t know why your down , what’s the point

OP posts:
EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 21/10/2023 21:37

Emotional abuse is a repeated pattern of behaviours that are designed to control and hurt you. If this is an isolated incident, it's just an argument in which he's been an arse hole.

If its a pattern of behaviour then it could be the start of abuse in this relationship too. Is your youngest child his?

Have you been checked for PND?

porridgeisbae · 21/10/2023 21:42

He wasn't very nice. As the PP said, maybe it's partly PND you have @Summerberry22 x

MissingMoominMamma · 21/10/2023 21:44

I don’t think it’s emotional abuse, I think it’s possibly frustration on his part.

Girlattheback · 21/10/2023 21:51

No it’s not emotional abuse. From how you’re explaining the argument, he just sounds frustrated/fed up.

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