I hate this year i feel like life is beating me up

[jabal]

So I’m trying to be positive and resilient but so much is just shit right now!
I lost my mum earlier this year which was followed by lots of horrible family mess.
my partner wasn’t great he got drunk the night my mum died but kept promising to be there for me but got drunk a few times following. He has a lot of issues himself and suffers with depression. The last 2 months I feel like he’s made no effort what so ever no phone calls texts it’s always me arranging to see him ( we don’t live together) we had a bit row 2 weeks ago and we spoke this week and he said let’s talk on sat I thought he would call me he hasn’t so I take it we are over. I could call him but what’s the point he’s made no effort and he said let’s talk sat so if he wanted to talk to me he would have rang me. I know the relationship has been bad for some time so why do I feel sad about it

Of course you're going to feel sad, thats natural. You are losing someone and a future you imagined together so you're going to need to grieve for that and you're already grieving for your mum so there's so many emotions going on it must be overwhelming. Treat yourself with kindness. Give yourself the comforts that you like - if you can, warmth, nice food and escapist TV. Tomorrow you will at least feel different.

I am really sorry to hear this - you have had a tough time.
losing your mum is a tough one and unfortunately you have not had the support from your partner

Give yourself time to grieve for your mum - but frankly you sound better off without your partner
You are entitled to feel battered / down or whatever you feel. Things will change and things will improve
Allow yourself to grieve for what has been and to look forward to what will be - how many posts have you read on here from people ( mainly women ) who have useless partners? You dodged a bullet
Give it time - and keep moving forward- it will get better
Look after yourself