Feel like an idiot

[Purpleflow]

Dp Came in at 4am this morning drunk which woke me up about 5 mins after him getting in he went to the toilet and I got up to make some water, as I was standing in the kitchen I could hear him talking on the phone, clearly to another woman telling her he missed her, blowing kisses down the phone and saying he would call her this morning.

I felt sick, confronted him straight away which he denied then went straight to gaslighting telling me I was hearing things, then pretended it was his friend.
At that point I just went to bed, he got in next to me and tried it on but I turned my back on him and went to sleep.

I woke up at 7am to see him getting dressed to walk out the door, without so much as a look back, so I text him that I was hurt how could he be so disrespectful, his exact words were “ I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you, I didn’t mean for you to hear what you did, you shouldn’t have been listening and I’m single”

After a whole year apparently the man that has been in my home near 5 days a week is single and didn’t think to inform me.

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. That's awful.

I'm so sorry but why do you feel like an idiot? There's only one fool in this scenario.

Wow, that is an awful experience, but although it's more painful in the moment to hear him say ''I'm single'' it will make it harder for your brain to comfort you with denial

Don't ever speak to him again. Not even once. There is nothing left to say. Block him entirely and change the locks if you need to.

Well, sounds like he's made his choice, time to move on. And don't feel stupid, it's not likely there were clues and I don't believe there is some kind of mystic 'female intuition' that should tell us something is up.

Don't feel like an idiot because you're not, you've just been deceived by a selfish arsehole who will float through life without anything meaningful, hurting one after the other.

I know it's hard now but he isn't worth knowing and you deserve better. Someone better will come, you will have moved on and he will be exactly the same.

If he comes back hold firm, don't settle for being an option for someone.

You're not an idiot, he's a fucking scumbag. Get rid of him and don't let this undermine how you feel about yourself.

That sounds awful, I am so sorry.

Has he been paying his half of the rent and bills? Are you in a committed relationship, as in, has he of his own accord committed to being your monogamous partner? If not and you've allowed him a free ride, he is correct unfortunately.

Vile vile man! Why even come back to yours if he is "single" and be speaking like that to another woman!

He’s an idiot and you deserve better. What a bastard!

What an arsewipe! You're absolutely not an idiot. He is, and he has now revealed his true colours to you.

Don't be letting this fuckwit back in.

I'm really confused at his comment about being single as that seems so bizarre..

I don’t understand the comment about being single. Does he mean you were never in a relationship in the first place?

Wasn't he living with you?

Sounds like a bloody sociopath.
Get your locks changed and bin anything of his he left there.

He's the idiot clearly!! Horrible! Don't waste another minute on him.

Thank you, I know I shouldn’t feel a fool but I really do.

We didn’t live together, he just stayed round a few nights a week and it was very clear that we were in a relationship, so the single comment was really what hurt the most.

I haven’t spoken to him, I’m assuming he’s licking his wounds somewhere. I honestly didn’t see this coming at all, we were not in each other’s pockets but had a good balance of time together and apart, weekly dates, plans for the future then this.