What to do with the things ex gave me

[WellIdontknowwhattocallmyself]

My ex has been here when we were together so I know I can’t remove the memories.
but I am wondering what to do with the stuff
i’ve put the photos I have left in a hidden folder
do I give the physical things back or throw them away

Don't give them back. Throw/give them away if they make you unhappy. Keep things that are useful/that you like.

You'll get rid of the photos in time as well.

Any gold, sell it at a place that gives cash back and treat yourself.

I just put all my ex's stuff in a box in the loft.

It was there if he decided he needed any of it back and there for when I felt ready to sift through it all without clouded judgement.

Keep anything you want and take the rest to a charity shop.

take it to a charity shop :)

If its stuff you like keep it and remember those were bought because its something that represents your likes not his gift. If you don't like it offer it back or donate it. Gifts are yours to do what you want with. I have framed pictures an ex bought me and they are still on the wall because they represent my personality and I don't care who's money was spent on them! Anything that I was not fussed on went out the house! x

I’d keep it somewhere in a box and decide when the emotions aren’t running high. It took me around a year to be ready to part with stuff without anger or sadness.

Now I can look at photos and just remember the nice bits (or be like, “oh that was the day he called me a cunt on our trip!”) without getting upset.

I sold a few ornament-y bits on Facebook marketplace and a couple of larger items that he’d given me that I didn’t really use. It’s quite cathartic to do it when it doesn’t really hurt at all, it’s just clearing out mental and emotional clutter.

Don’t delete photos (except maybe any risqué ones!!) as they’re your memories too. If there’s any in a shared album be aware that he could delete his photos of you and you’ll lose them too, so save any you particularly like somewhere safe! Luckily I don’t think my ex gave enough of a shit to delete anything so I didn’t do this, but I have considered deleting nice ones of him, just because he’s so vain I know he’d be annoyed 😂

Don’t give it back as that opens up a conversation. I found some physical photos of him as a child that he’d left at my house in a birthday card. I really didn’t want to see him after all this time so I contacted a mutual friend and we met for a coffee and a secret handover so that he could concoct a story about how he came to have them!

If it's stuff you like/want then keep it. The emotional associations will diminish over time.

I have a scarf of my ex boyfriend's. I was absolutely enthralled with him and was devastated when he turned out to be an arsehole. But I love the scarf and now it's just my scarf.