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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My bf of 7 years left me whilst pregnant

14 replies

Flower222 · 20/10/2023 23:12

Hi just thought id come on for some advice or even someone to tell me theyv been threw this and they are ok.. im 18 weeks pregnant so my bf of 7 years told me he wasnt happy hes very immature hes 28 and because i stood up for myself and disagreed with certain things he ran, we have a 6 yr old, i was 10 weeks when he left hes still doing his part with our child and sending money, its been 9 weeks and he has yet to apologize how hes treated me, i was also very ill at the start and he new all this, ino there us no other girls on the scene as he said he wouldnt do that whilst im preg, i adored him and keep thinking hel change his mind and beg to come back :( but he hasnt instead i seen on social media on his friends that hes having the best time ( i unfollowed his friends yesterday) im still hurting and trying to b brave but im so scared

OP posts:
Honest2afault · 20/10/2023 23:42

"hes very immature"

I don't understand why would you choose such a man to be the father of your children.

QuacketyQuack · 20/10/2023 23:46

@Honest2afault that's really not helpful at all!
OP, do you have family/friends that you can lean on for support?

Honest2afault · 20/10/2023 23:53

@QuacketyQuack Apologies I just don't see how someone can complain about a choice they made

QuacketyQuack · 21/10/2023 00:02

OP came on here asking for advice, she said shes scared. your comment was uncalled for. People make bad choices, it happens.

Flower222 · 21/10/2023 00:14

:( sorry il just delete this post i just wanted someone to speak to never mind have a nice night

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 21/10/2023 00:19

It sounds like you've probably put up with shite for years. Men don't respect you more because you tolerate them being crap. They certainly don't love you more.

Oh there's no other girls on the scene...because your pregnant? Is that how low the bar is? That if you were not pregnant it would be OK for him to do it?

(What happened to you?! How has it come to you hating yourself so much that you would stay with someone who actively flirts with other women?! )

Some men are awful. They are not worth your time. Like this guy.

But you need to take some responsibility for what you put up with too, love.

When men are decent and worth keeping -you should still hold them to the same standard of accountability for their actions as you hold yourself to. If you wouldn't do something in a relationship, like, talk to other blokes -nor.should.they.

He has demonstrated again that he doesn't respect you.

Men are not children. We should not infantalise them or make ridiclious excuses for any shitty behaviour.

He has done you a favour by leaving. Otherwise, how much longer we're you going to date this utter loser? When were you going to step up and protect yourself? Ever?

Focus on you and your baby now. And learn your worth and practice loving yourself and developing healthy boundaries. Only then will your child grow up not to date loses men like her father. Or to become one.

DWSDB · 21/10/2023 00:24

Ignore @Honest2afault , stupid comment.

Look after yourself and your baby and make a life for your little family without him. Sounds a dick but chances are he will come back begging at some point, however, make yourself so happy that you won’t even be sure you want him back. Focus on you and your goals and kids and life. You can do this!

Lifesingflowers · 21/10/2023 00:31

Hey I have been through this, with my ex husband. I tried hold onto him as long as I can, cause I wanted to be with the father of my children. But guess what he wasn't worth it. A man who can leave his pregnant wife and his child isn't a man.

Dotcheck · 21/10/2023 00:35

Honest2afault · 20/10/2023 23:53

@QuacketyQuack Apologies I just don't see how someone can complain about a choice they made

Ffs- pack it in. People don’t come with a manual of blow by blow instructions of what they will do in the future.
What a smug unpleasant post

PaminaMozart · 21/10/2023 00:38

Don't you know, deep down, that you are better off without this womanizing loser?

What's your situation? You have a 6 y.o. and will have a newborn in about March. Do you work, are you employed? I assume you rent - in who name is the tenancy? Are you on Universal Credit? Do you have family support?

Can you focus on the practicalities: what needs to happen for you to be able to support yourself and your children?

Olenkaa · 21/10/2023 14:12

Ok she knows she made a mistake. What is the point of you trying to put her down even more??? If you have nothing constructive to say, dont say anything.

ThatSparklyMintStork · 21/10/2024 11:34

He wants the single life OP. He thinks the grass is greener. Trust me. When the second baby is born he’ll have a oh shit moment and want his family back.

this happened to me and he was sleeping/spending time with someone he met from the club for 2/3 months and once I’ve given birth he “realised” what he done.

Starlightstarbright3 · 21/10/2024 11:54

gosh.. sorry for your shit replies..

You are very vulnerable right now .

focus on the people around you who are supportive.. focus on your Ds . Take one day at a time .

plan for him not coming back .

Do you have joint accounts , you need to remove your money ensure you wages - child benefit are paid into your account .

The biggest one is he isn’t who you thought he was, . How was he with the first pregnancy ?

surround yourself with people who do care .

TransvestitesOnParade · 21/10/2024 15:59

ThatSparklyMintStork · 21/10/2024 11:34

He wants the single life OP. He thinks the grass is greener. Trust me. When the second baby is born he’ll have a oh shit moment and want his family back.

this happened to me and he was sleeping/spending time with someone he met from the club for 2/3 months and once I’ve given birth he “realised” what he done.

The OP is from a year ago. Let's hope @Flower222 managed to ditch the big manbaby and is thriving with her children.

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