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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Aggressive meltdown practical steps

9 replies

K1nga23 · 20/10/2023 22:07

This isn’t an entirely new situation but it feels extreme atm. I suppose it’s also been coming for a while because the writing was on the wall, but now it’s the perfect storm and he is kicking off and all reason seems to have left the building. And this might be the he worst one yet.

My boyfriend can be unreasonable and angry, but he is usually ok. I don’t think he is ok now. He’s not angry with me or threatening towards me, though he did shout earlier when I challenged him. It just seems like he is channeling all of his anger and frustration at one thing/ person atm which seems totally insane. There is no immediate physical threat but “malicious” thoughts and planning, so it’s not a police matter but I’m not sure who to contact it this continues. Obviously I can contact his therapist, but I’m more concerned about the weekend if he doesn’t calm down and hype himself up more and more.

OP posts:
AdoraBell · 20/10/2023 22:10

Huge red flags. Do you have children together, or live together? I would walk away.

SoRainbowRhythms · 20/10/2023 22:13

The most practical step would be out the door.

K1nga23 · 20/10/2023 22:33

I’ve seen it before but I don’t think it’s been this level of intensity, or else I have parked the memories. I’ll contact his therapist on Monday

OP posts:
OliveToboogie · 20/10/2023 22:37

You can't save everyone. By all means contact his therapist, but get ready to walk if his anger issues continue. Plus he needs to have self awareness and a willingness to change or you are wasting your time.

cestlavielife · 20/10/2023 22:39

What s his diagnosis? Why are you managing this ?

K1nga23 · 20/10/2023 23:38

Narcissist, and usually self aware and able to
reflect, and generally a very logical person. But not now when he is in full swing. The level of anger is new though.

OP posts:
Grimsknee · 20/10/2023 23:58

What kind of practical steps do you think people can suggest?
I suggest removing yourself for the weekend.

K1nga23 · 21/10/2023 00:29

Grimsknee · 20/10/2023 23:58

What kind of practical steps do you think people can suggest?
I suggest removing yourself for the weekend.

I was hoping for de-escalating ones. I’ll leave if have to; but I really just want to calm things down if possible.

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 21/10/2023 01:21

If he can be malicious to someone else, he can be malicious to you.

Is the plan just to hang around until that day?
Why? Surely a diagnosis of npd was your cue to run for the hills.

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