First meeting bombshell

[Basilbrush680]

Frivolous query I suppose, but could ANYONE be certain enough to declare that they want you in their life after the very first date? Extenuating circumstances....including way too much alcohol, and ending up in a motel room together for two days, but still...the first date?

No

Unlikely.

You'll probably get people for whom such a declaration did turn into something and they lived happily ever after, but that's just luck. For most it'll just be the oxytocin and alcohol talking.

You should also be aware that too much too soon/love-bombing is a big old red flag.

We are together over a decade and said this to each other on the first night.

No, I don’t think so. I do believe, though, that some people get giddy on a mixture of really enjoying somebody’s company, lust, and their own eagerness to have a relationship, and feel as though they’re certain about it. Sometimes it works out (e.g. people who say they got engaged on the third date and are still happily married a decade later) and sometimes it doesn’t (e.g. people who post on FB about having found a different “the one” every other month.)

Agree it could be either option.

Like pps say, I do think men often are super keen based on chemistry/connection/looks. They know within a few seconds if they find someone attractive enough. The talking and bonding in other ways is quite peripheral.

If you fit their "looks category" and you have no major red flags and are interested in them too, they're happy.

But also, as I'm sure you know, there are a lot of risks with going in too much too soon.

If it's a online set up, I'd definitely take time to get to know them FTF in a lower key way.

And protect your home and boundaries until you've sussed him out a bit more and worked out if you are genuinely compatible.

Things can flip quite suddenly with online dating situations - a few perfect early meets, and then they're not in touch.