Have you lost friendships in pregnancy?

[FriendshipWoe50]

I suppose I am posting to see if people have experienced similar or maybe it's just me.

Close friend of multiple years, regular communication and meets (drinking and non-drinking so not just party friends!)

I fell pregnant (planned) and told her early on. She just pulled a face (no reason why from my side, I'm married, no DH issues , very settled, in my 30s) she questioned why I was bothering to tell people so early when something could happen. It was a strange conversation and very different to others I had with friends.

I am now 30 weeks pregnant. I didn't hear from her after I told her about my pregnancy so I checked in , asked how she was, conversation was abit back and forth with her being off . It was left with me telling her when my scan was. No good luck or anything like that.
I didn't hear again for a number of weeks and this repeated with me checking in and being left on read mid convo. I even shared some complications I was having another time but she ignored this and again, I have no heard since. I was asking about her and not making it all about me (I don't think). This was all a complete change to our usual friendship.

I have since found out from another friend in the group she has been essentially slagging me off. Saying I am not a good friend (all of a sudden!) amongst other things like I am spending to much time with my other group of friends (who BTW are the only ones who have continued to ask me to do anything!) friend said she was sugar coating it slightly and some harsh other words were said.

I was planning to just ask what was going on previously but after hearing these things (which really upset me) I don't really want to because it may turn into an argument rather then constructive conversation (based on what she's said) and I am already an emotional mess in pregnancy therefore don't want to upset myself further to be honest or cause stress - I'll just retreat.

Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this or it's something I've done and not realised? It's weighing heavy on me to be honest.

It’s an odd reaction. It sounds to me she may be jealous? Has she got a partner and/or kids?

@billsbear no she doesn't and I know she does want this in the future but I did not want to assume jealousy (another friend suggested this). Other extended friends are pregnant/have had children and it's not been like this. Just me unfortunately.

I did make sure convos were not all about me and asking lots of questions about her still when I checked in.

I lost a friend when pregnant, although different circumstances to yours. She has a child but then had a series of miscarriages so struggled to cope with me being pregnant - I completely appreciate and understand, and don’t in any way blame her for this (I struggled with other people’s pregnancies when I was having unsuccessful treatment). I don’t know for certain but I felt she disapproved of my IVF, and couldn’t be happy for me. We were very close but have barely any contact these days - my child is five. I sent her a long chatty and reconciliatory message last year which she never responded to. I’ve had to accept that we grew apart and are no longer the friends we once were.

No experience of this and it sounds really difficult, I’m sorry.

Put her from your mind for now and focus on your pregnancy and support from the lovely other people in your life. Best of luck with everything and a safe delivery for your baby. You don’t need extra worry, she’s not worthy of your time and energy.

@Latenightreader sorry this happened to you - it's a strange emotional time pregnancy.
I can't even imagine the struggle of infertility and how difficult this could be . It is sad it has to break friendships instead of having the support but do understand why people struggle 😔

The drift is hard to accept especially when you reach out x

@AnneLovesGilbert thank you - that's what DH and my other close friend says. I am not expecting a lot from friends (I know I'm not the first woman in the world to get pregnant!) but maybe a check in or just replies. Especially don't expect being slagged off !

it's just sad.

Of course it is! You thought she’d be happy for you as other people who care for you are, that’s perfectly reasonable. It’s her stuff that’s making her be horrible, no reflection on you.

No experience of this. Most of my friends have kids. I'm so sorry this has happened to you x

Thanks all - I feel better after hearing this as I thought I was going to be told to get over myself.

Her talking about me to others is hard because when I explained to mutual friend actually, I had been reaching out and the rest, she didn't realise. It had been painted as I must of been ignoring her or something by the sounds of it. Just strange .