I am lucky enough to have been brought up by parents who love me. I always imagined we would have a genuinely close relationship once I became an adult but am sad by the reality that our relationship seems more dutiful than a genuine, respectful and equal friendship.
My parents are very religious but as an adult I have left the religion and am not bringing my children up as religious. This was really hard for my parents but I didn’t think it would affect our closeness in the way it has.
They can only really understand people within the lens of their faith. They don’t believe that other people can truly be happy. This means there is a fundamental level of disapproval of my life. This is despite the fact I have a successful career, am happily married and have wonderful children.
I live near my parents so I see them a lot and love them. I just don’t get those genuine feelings of love and approval back. It’s so depressing, in most other circumstances we should be so close and enjoy each others company. It was easier when the children were younger but now they are teenagers and making their own choices I can see my parents disapproval influencing their interactions with their grandchildren. They never show genuine interest or curiosity about my or the children’s lives. It would only change if we all converted back to the faith. It’s all so depressing and I think will just get worse as we all get older. I can only really understand the relationship as one I engage with out of duty now.