Lack of sexual intimacy

[Mumwhoneedsadvice]

So I’m in my 30s and 3 years ago my husband got diagnosed with prostatitis I wouldn’t say we was at it like animals but once a week roughly.
Since his diagnoses he is often in pain and is on medication that is well known to decrease his libido. Due to ejaculation being extremely painful for him I think he avoids having sex.

I was 32 when my sex life stopped and I do feel for him I really do but his brain knows why he doesn’t want sex but mine doesn’t.

I’ve told him how I feel many many times and he can see it’s breaking my heart but he totally ignores any sexual intimacy. Yes he loves me and he’s caring and he cuddles me and kisses me. But that’s as far as intimacy goes.

it’s been 6 months and I’m really struggling, I try it on and get nothing back. I feel like we’re just a mum and dad now. He always complements me and I know he fancies me there’s no doubt in my mind. But I guess sex is danger zone to him so he is happy to avoid it. I’ve been really working on myself and I’m in the best shape of my life putting all the effort in at the gym but I feel I’m a little wasted.

I love him and don’t want anyone else or to cheat or anything I just want to vent and see if anyone feels the way I do.

Thanks for reading

I'm in a very similar situation. I have been a carer in excess of 15 years. My wife has a chronic illness and we often go long periods without sex. I feel your pain and it can be really difficult to manage. I don't want to make her feel pressured or bad for saying no and she doesn't want to make me feel rejected. This ends up with neither of us wanting to touch each other , so we don't cause upset and extra stress.

This is very frustrating and unfortunately switching to manual doesn't fulfill the urge. We have spoken about open relationships, etc, but ultimately we decided it would be counter productive for our relationship.

No words of advice, but I definitely understand. This has negative effects on both our mental health.

Incidentally, I posted on here about it some years back. I initially wrote in a gender neutral way and was encouraged to go elsewhere, I then made it clear that I am male, and was labeled as bastard. Some polarised views on here. Nothing is black and white. Difficult situation to put anothers needs above your own for long periods.