On surface , me and my husband are decent. Stable job, no trouble with material things. We’re loving couple. Well sociable as a couple. Good sense of humour.
however, in recent years his mental state got worse. The covid time could have trigger or worsen. Mainly is the job he changed before covid time. It’s a job with toxic office environment, but they paid very well that made the head not think straight.
worse time was Mon-Fri, he just ignored me. But Sat n Sun resume to be a loving husband. This cycle continues like one yror so in covid time. We were newly wed and desire for children. This is not helping. We were also mid 30s. After first 12 months of not in sync I gave up and overall just adding stress to relationship. This situation gained better after countless of fights and communication.
after covid we went on our first overseas trip and the break had helped him mental state tremendously. He become more himself and more think about life rather than stress from the bosses or horrible colleagues from work. That had helped our relationship and I lucky to fell pregnant. But ….
Just as my pregnancy news arrived, at the same time he had an offer from other company to change job. All sounds great given a new fam a new job. But his current company gave an unbelievable offer that can’t resist. He felt it’s a good decision to stay for supporting the fam but I warned him about the stress and that he have the tendency to take on me - it help fam financial but may trade off from the fam relationship.
its like a month or so as he taking the role, at least once a week he just like to pick sth on me for the sake of him releasing the anger from work. And after that he feel good and would just say I over react , just get over it. I explained it’s hurt emotionally. There is a scar. It’s like I slap someone and the pain will not recover right away. But the person who slap feel good.
I just want to ask for advice ?! What would you do??
besides it’s not like extreme case that require professional help, just many of this small incidents build up become major. So major I had been sharing with close friends and fam (which they pleasantly surprised given we portrait us almost like a perfect couple and I talked so much about it to at a point I felt like I numb their ears). Also I don’t usually talk about relationship trouble kind of person.
so now I am reaching out to share in forum just want to hear some more thoughts.
thank you everyone!!