Help, I don't know if I'm to blame

[CG4321]

So recently there my husband made it clear that he was in the mood, it was random and I had only just come home from a night out so had had a few drinks. I let him know honestly that I wasn't fully in the mood and had a few drinks so don't think I could. He took massive offence to this and has been off with me since even giving me silent treatment that night. And no I'm going back and forth about if I should feel guilty or not. On the one hand I understand if he feels a bit embarrassed because I would too but on the other hand how can I be punished for not being in the mood??

He isn't entitled to sex.
You're not a toy.

No adult should be giving anyone the silent treatment. In a healthy relationship, people work on solving problems. The silent treatment is the way spoiled people avoid having to explain themselves and get other people to do what you're doing (worry about what you might have done, be unhappy).

Honestly, there are few things that would turn me off more and I'd let him know that. You don't want to be in a relationship with a teenager.

He needs to learn to deal with his embarrassment like an adult. He also needs to learn (and it's shocking that he doesn't already know this) that people don't always feel like having sex. It's normal, in a relationship, to ask. It is also normal to hear "not tonight."

I think you need to approach him and let him know that this is not how you want to deal with problems in your marriage. He needs to never give you the silent treatment again. It's troubling you have to tell him that. Sometimes you won't want to have sex and the silent treatment is only going to prolong the hiatus.

No, you're not in the wrong so don't feel guilty, you don't have to just because he wants to. He should be feeling guilty about guilt tripping and giving silent treatment to you.

Don't let that silent treatment wear you down, understand how that feels and it's purpose is to make you feel like you are in the wrong, feel guilty and doubt yourself.

THIS. Why do men feel entitled to sex from their partners? noone owes anyone sex. And then guilt tripping you when you say no. Its disgusting. So, he would have preferred for you to grin and bear it would he? That tells me he does not care about your feelings.

Why would he feel embarrassed? Surely it's just part of being in a relationship that sometimes you fancy sex and your partner doesn't? It's totally disgusting for him to sulk and punish you for not being up for sex. It's coercive.

Sex is for mutual enjoyment.
You don't owe anyone sex.

If someone was trying to make me feel guilty or to upset me for not having it some night, I'd seriously reconsider the relationship.

It's weird. And as pp said, coercive.