11 weeks since split...6 weeks since he blocked me and I'm still so sad...

[Littlemisslonley]

11 weeks since the split.
6 weeks since he blocked me on everything literally for no reason.
He had a emotional affair. I told him to stop and back away from her. He said he would just leave now instead and he got ds and his bag and walked out.
He didn't return all mine and dcs stuff - expensive stuff didn't get returned.
Not seen him since.
2 x 2 hour phone calls with me begging him to come back basically and work on it and put boundaries in place.
But I just get blocked and he's gone.

I'm ok. But I think about him alot.... just that really....I'm just sad....for context I'm 31 he's 41 we were together 15 months....

Thanks for reading xx

Its crap but he’s done you a favour. He’s crossed your boundaries and broken your trust. He’s made it easier for you in the long run, without him lingering around.

In a way he did you a favour by blocking you. I suspect he walked out because he'd quite like the emotional affair to become more and you gave him an easy way out.
It's hard but you'll get through this.

Oh so sorry OP. I can understand why you’re feeling hurt. 11 / 6 weeks isn’t much time at all. But time is the greatest healer. Just hang in there. I found counselling and physical activity really helped me to process bad break ups. Do you have any new hobbies or activities that can take your focus?

Youre young - 31. You have plenty of time to meet someone else who will treat you with respect - unlike this twat of a man!

Thank you guys @singleagaing @Daffodil18 @Justkeepingplatesspinning your all so right I just can't shake it but time is a healer and your right he did me a favour blocking me....I'd of still been checking if he's messaged me every hour if not! He did break all my trust... just the lies and the fake future bullshit

He told me he would "crawl through any amount of shit to be with me" well actions speak louder than words right!!

He will likely reappear at some point - when this other woman doesn’t work out for example

Please, please, please block him yourself and don’t engage with someone who is willing to treat you this way

You deserve so much better

@singleagaing I think so too.... the fact he didn't return my dcs stuff has cut me deep why would he not priorities my children? His son left something at my house... I posted it via tracked delivery the next day to make sure he got it because I knew his son would need it for the summer holidays (game Console) yet my children didn't get a look in....

Men don't get better with age so it seems 10 year age gap I thought he would have his shit together clearly not!!

It’s very careless and telling of his character Littlemisslonley No, men don’t get better with age. If they are of low character, it doesn’t improve.

Sorry again this has happened to you but you will get over him and what happened in time and you have so much life ahead of you to find the right partner. Focus on that x

@singleagaing thank you for your positivity and your right...if that's someone character that is them isn't it....

I'm only young and I see that however I have 2 dcs 12 and 5 and I'm fully on my own so it may just take me a little longer to find my person but I'm sure it will happen one day!

Feeling more positive today after reading all your responses again. It is still early days I guess just hurtful how someone who claimed so much just runs away!!

Littlemisslonley it will hurt and you’ll be up and down for a while, but over it sooner than you think. Keep busy and distracted. And remember you’ve had a lucky escape. He’s behaved in a really shitty way - better to have had happened now before you invested more time and became even more attached.

@singleagaing your right..... imagine i spent more years with him and he would never of changed with his female friend felt like a 3 some relationship!

Just feel for my dcs.... I'm going to wait a long long time before they get involved with someone ever again

I’m sorry this happened. Try and look at it as good experience - you know now to be even more cautious with your heart and your family unit. I didn’t meet the love of my life until I was in my forties…and my wonderful DP didn’t meet me till he was in his sixties!
You are worth so much more, someone who truly cares and shows it by actions.

@MrsHedgewitch thank you I will be very much more cautious for sure!!
I keep hearing people not finding the one until they are in their 40s hopefully my time will come...just so hurt he walked away from me and chose someone else who he is adamant is just a friend...and she lives in a different part of the bloody world

@MrsHedgewitch thank you I will be very much more cautious for sure!!
I keep hearing people not finding the one until they are in their 40s hopefully my time will come...just so hurt he walked away from me and chose someone else who he is adamant is just a friend...and she lives in a different part of the bloody world

It is very painful when someone else is chosen over you. It will take a while to feel better but you will. Just out of interest, does the other woman have children? If not, that might be part of the reason for his choice. But in any case, he’s wrong for you and in time he’ll become an irrelevance.

So sorry op. I'd be angry that he still has your dc stuff. It's like he's still got a hold over you by keeping it. Do you have a friend or family member that could go to his house to get it for you? Once you have your stuff back your ties are broken.and you can move on.

@Dery no she doesn't have children. He has 1 son.

@TastyLikeARaindrop tbh I have replaced most of it now as i am blocked by him and so are my friends and my sister (he blocked everyone) so replaced what I needed to replace for the dcs but it does still make me angry especially when his ds is using my ds game console (has been active online) makes me so cross but dcs are not going without as I've replaced the important stuff shows what a prick he is though right

Even the whole 'I'd crawl through any amount of shit to be with you' tells you he thinks relationships should be drama.

Relationships should be as easy as breathing and make you feel secure. Someone implying that relationships would be a struggle...they're telling you they don't have a healthy view of relationships.

But also, I think you should be careful of this idea of 'the one'. Most relationships aren't forever. Even if you meet someone at 40 it's unlikely you'll still be together at 80. Rather than romanticising this idea of a perfect partner it might be best to see partners - as just good company. They're not there to complete your life. Only to add comfort and a bit of spice to it.

You'll probably meet several decent partners over the years. And several more who aren't so decent...such as your ex. But YOU are your one. So long as you have your own back, that's what counts.

In future, if one turns out to be an arsehole, hopefully you'll be able to send him packing. And kick him up the arse on his way out!

@Pinkbonbon thank you for this.....your right a partner shouldn't make you...they should enrich you and tbh I have realised since he had gone how less stressed I am with carrying him (he was a total man baby so unorganised and flappy about EVERYTHING I organise everything and made things happen) he didn't enrich any part of my life and actually sexually didn't add any spice I was avoiding having sex with him as much as possible if I could help it because it was crap! And his lack of communication and chat would literally bore me to tears!!

I'm lucky really I didn't invest anymore time into this man. Just horrible how he's blocked me for no reason part of me is thankful so I dont go around In circles but part of me feels rejected..I think that's normal... ultimately he had an emotional affair I think and I'm not in for that!!