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Original poster

Men's age on dating apps

16 replies

Cringette · 14/10/2023 15:52

What if we started a revolution where men had to provide their passport as proof of age on dating apps? Or 'we regularly review profiles and if you do not look your age then we will contact you for your passport.' I mean, it is practically a con to pay for a service and be matched with men who are clearly 10-15 years older than me. I finally worked out that I have to change MY preferred age range to closer to my own, but then the ones who are honest get filtered out too. Also it still shows me men older than my age range. This is one where you receive a fixed number of matches a day. Minefield. Why can this basic boundary not be respected?

OP posts:
singleagaing · 14/10/2023 15:56

Same with height…

Ceebeegee · 14/10/2023 15:58

How far do we take it ? Just age ?
What about height ?
What about weight?
What about general appearances? A ban on filters ?

Catsafterme · 14/10/2023 17:17

Age is a little bit different than weight or height though? I mean sure could lie about those things but at least would know the age is not a lie.

It's not a wild thing either other places do id verification but for like freelance places. Know that's different but it can be done. I don't look my age or so I'm told but if it was a thing I would do it.

Problem is that takes the platform verify it and it would mean more work, cost and put people off. That's likely the reason. You'd think it would add some sort of security too, just for the fact you had to register.

Slackbladder22 · 14/10/2023 20:11

You think it’s any different with women on OLD? Had a date this afternoon and she was at least ten years older than she claimed on her profile. Photos were probably ten years old too. Don’t think there’s much that can be done though, you’ve got to move on and not worry too much about it

5128gap · 14/10/2023 20:42

Slackbladder22 · 14/10/2023 20:11

You think it’s any different with women on OLD? Had a date this afternoon and she was at least ten years older than she claimed on her profile. Photos were probably ten years old too. Don’t think there’s much that can be done though, you’ve got to move on and not worry too much about it

I'd imagine whether or not women lie on OLD is of no relevance to the OP given she's trying to meet a man.

LocalHobo · 14/10/2023 20:48

A single friend of mine said he knocked off 10 years because he is "young at heart" and doesn't want to meet "an old biddy". When I pointed out that women his own age could be similarly young at heart, he dismissed the idea.
I should call him an ex friend as I couldn't bear his hypocrisy.

Lovemusic82 · 14/10/2023 20:57

Women lie too.

I do agree that it’s annoying, it’s happened to me twice where I have gone on dates with people who are ten years older than they stated on their profile.

Slackbladder22 · 14/10/2023 21:20

Hence the second part of my comment. OP stated all men should have to provide passport evidence, I might agree if it worked that way for everyone

User135644 · 14/10/2023 21:23

Women lie as well about their age and their photos are often filtered to the max, it's not just men.

Original poster
Cringette · 15/10/2023 09:28

@Slackbladder22 and others making the same point. It's a fair point and yes like @5128gap said I didn't make it as I am singularly focused on my goal, but it would need to be everyone providing proof of age.

I kind of agree on the philosophical point of where do you stop, but you could apply that to everything- you have to start somewhere. You can't change age but you can easily prove it - height is trickier to prove.

It's also the way it is bended- many women are okay with dating a man up to say 10 years older, but men often exclusively want someone younger, by the fact of them lying it means me, someone early 40s is getting matches, in their mid to late 50s.

But it's just a discussion as it's not actually going to happen, yes no one is going to change it, least of all companies voluntarily. The point is we pay for the service which makes me irate, but agree you just have to forget about it and move on. Some sites don't have the problem whereas it is rife on others.

OP posts:
EBearhug · 15/10/2023 09:40

I doubt it could be enforced, unfortunately- at least, I don't want to use an app where I'd have to provide all that ID, so I assume others wouldn't either.

I only had one who knowingly lied to me about his age. He told me on the date - his profile said 54 but he was actually 64. He said if he put his actual age, women ignore him. Certainly my own preferred age range would have filtered him out. It just told me I couldn't trust him.

The rest of them were telling the truth, AFAIK. Or at least they were probably only out by a couple of years if they weren't. The one that has turned out to be my most important date was truthful about his age.

BigPussyEnergy · 15/10/2023 09:42

I hate when men say in their bio too “says 45, I’m actually 55 but it won’t let me change it”.
Like it literally asks you “are you sure this info is correct? You won’t be able to change it at a later date” and they click yes and then claim it was a mistake!

I’m with you OP, there should be proof of ID at registration purely from a safety POV, but it would also mean the lies wouldn’t be as easy for them to get away with.

The whole “I’m young at heart” thing is such bullshit. None of us feel like we’re our actual age! In my head I’m perpetually 28, despite being nearly twice that in reality. I’m always shocked and appalled at how old the men claiming to be my age look. They’re probably all 10 years older and just “young at heart, and told they look younger” 🙄 despite being bald, paunchy and wrinkled like a ball sack.

WatieKatie · 15/10/2023 10:58

When I used dating apps years ago it was soul destroying. Rarely did I meet a chap who hadn’t lied on his profile. Age, height and career seemed to be the main areas, in that order!

Men in their 40s/early 50s were completely deluded. They wanted women aged 20 to 32 max for a relationship. Anyone age appropriate was deemed only good enough for a FWB arrangement. I found it very off putting.

ManAboutTown · 15/10/2023 11:11

My age on OLD is the correct one (in late 50s) but I am looking tor someone between 50 and 62 so no point in me lying really. I've actually had the scammer accounts claiming to be in their 50s with photos that look like they are mid to late 30s tops

I feel I would fit best with someone with similar life experiences to me hence the age range. I'm pretty flexible on everything else (race, height etc)

TitInATrance · 15/10/2023 12:40

I agree there should be a check on age and identity at registration, get rid of the scammers too.

BUT …airbnb have this system, and have set my age to +10 years (despite having a copy of my driving license) and refuse to correct it. Might delete my account while I think about it. Yes, I have quoted GDPR at them and it made no difference.

ManAboutTown · 15/10/2023 13:07

TitInATrance · 15/10/2023 12:40

I agree there should be a check on age and identity at registration, get rid of the scammers too.

BUT …airbnb have this system, and have set my age to +10 years (despite having a copy of my driving license) and refuse to correct it. Might delete my account while I think about it. Yes, I have quoted GDPR at them and it made no difference.

There are an inordinate number of female scammers (well they might not be female for all I know) on POF. The sites certainly need to be better at cleaning up this shite

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