If your partner said in an argument “you’d better get out before I do something we both regret”!

[Flutterby10]

It was in the family home. I was telling him that I think our relationship is over. He always blames me for everything and I’d had enough.

He then said shouting at me and goading me towards the front door “you’d better get out before I do something we both regret”.

I obviously left but what on earth was he insinuating?

The house is mine but he says he won’t leave.

I believed his threat and unfortunately left the house and now he won’t go anywhere.

Contact the police

Are you renting or do you own it?

Does he have any friends or family of his that will come and get him?

If he refuses to leave then you’ll have no option but to call the police.

Where are you now?

If possible I’d stay away for a couple of days and ask him to be gone by say Monday 6pm, if not you’ll have to ask the police to remove him.

If you’ve got no where else to stay then tell him he needs to be gone by 6pm today, if not you’ll have to have him removed.

Call the police, explain its solely your house, not his and that he is threatening violence and refusing to leave. They'll tell him either to leave or be arrested.

I echo the above poster, if it's your house not his get the police to remove him. Does he pay towards bills/ rent

Never trust someone who cannot control their anger and makes threats towards you. That is a glimpse into a side that would potentially go further.

Likely one of the reasons why he made you leave was to gain an upper hand on the house. However, if the house is solely in your name then he has no right to be there and you can have him removed.

if it’s your house then you contact the police. Pack his stuff up when he’s not there, dump it all outside if needs be and change the locks.
Anyone who threatens you with violence is as bad as someone who is violent. And this was what he was doing. LTB

Thank God, you are not married to this man. You know that he meant one of three things. He would hurt you. He would rape you. He would kill you. He was in enough control to know that one of those things was forthcoming. One day he might not be. I think you need to talk to the police.

It’s not the first argument to be honest. They were all very intense and over things that weren’t really that bad. He tended to explode, especially if being told he was wrong. He has thrown things at me in anger, shoes, book phone etc. He’s had me backed against the wall shouting in my face. One time it was because he got asked to leave his job over intimidating a staff member. I didn’t have his back and said he was at fault no matter what happened so he got angry. Another time I told him his mum doesn’t make much effort with me. He went mad and said I must never talk bad of his mum.

OP is the house in your name? You need to go to the police about him, he’s abusive through and through and yes he would hit you by the sounds of it.

Yeah he's abusive, sorry. They fly off the handle at anything and everything and they can never be wrong, even when they are proven to be. If you don't agree, have another opinion or pull away they go into orbit and see it as a betrayal.

Be careful how you proceed because from my experience anyway, which is a bit different as I had this with my wife, it can escalate after you have left in all different ways. I would say he's perhaps started that by refusing to leave.

Word of advice, just in case seen as he's mentioned it, keep your child close if he sees them at any point until you know the score.

If you own the house outright, get him removed. Any further threats or harassment report it, don't be lured with promises as it will be manipulation tactics to regain control.

They don't change, someone who has no insight into themselves or can't take responsibility for their own behavior is incapable.

Bloody hell, with that further info you definitely need to get him out of your house and out of your life as much as possible.

Do talk to the police and report his behavior asap.

If you're not married, then you go back to your home when he's out, pack his things, get the locks changed. Then message him telling him to collect his things from outside.

He threatened you with violence, he will now pretend he didn't because he knows what he did was a shitty thing to do and he prefers not to see himself as a shitty person.

Don’t let him see your child .
I also day give him to Monday but I’d say 9am, then call the police.
Change the locks and get you and your child settled and don’t look back .
He needs reporting and a contact centre for dc
Good luck stay strong, and don’t go back !

You're a player OP - you know exactly what he meant. You ended the relationship and now want to present it to the world as his fault. A trick as old as time.

@Sayitaintso33 do you know the op?

I don’t necessarily interpret it as a threat of violence (although that’s likely). But it could have been a threat to walk out, and the relationship once and for all etc and he was trying not to make a decision in the heat of the moment.

If he was a reasonable person and was scared of what he might do, he would leave but he didn't as he knew you wouldn't let him back in. By getting you to leave he thinks he can stake a claim on your house, he can't. He basically a lodger. Tell him to pack his things and leave by the end of the week (?) or you will call the police and have him removed. If he threatens you again, he forfeits this time and you call the police to remove him immediately. He thinks he has all the power, he doesn't.