Hi. I’m looking for opinions on a current situation I’m dealing with.
recently i found out that my partner was being dishonest about our joint account. We have an agreement to transfer all our paycheque money into a joint account and agreed on a portion for savings and the rest we spend as we need.
however, i found out that for the past 5 months she was not putting her full paycheque. When i confronted her, she lied about it to only contradict herself afterwards. Anyway, we decided to review how we do our finance and each have their own side money. But why did she feel the need to hide money?
now this is where it gets weird. I come home one day and her friend is over. While we are talking, her friend tells my partner that the night both of them went out for dinner, she went to see her boyfriend after their dinner ended at 11:30pm. But i remember that night my partner coming home at 5am and saying she wasn’t feeling well and her and her friend went to a diner until she felt better, hence why she came back so late. The story don’t add up. Now this was on a Wednesday night, where she has work the next day.
when i confronted her afterwards, she said her friend was confused and she was mistaken that night with another night
so then i remembered last week Wednesday, she went out with another friend and came back home at 3am. So i looked up the restaurant she had told me she went to and it closes at 12am on Wednesday’s. when i asked her about it, she said the business doesn’t kick their clientele out if they haven’t finished their drinks. I told her sure for 30min but not until 3am. She paused and then she said that she has a hard time sleeping so she decided to go for a drive and listen to music rather than come home first.
really? On a night where you have work the next day? A drive for over 2hours?
she then became defensive and accusing me of calling her a liar.
i feel like her being dishonest with the money was to hide her spending for something she is hiding from me.
i looked at our shared account and none of the spending on those nights appear on the shared account. So i can’t justify any of it.
anyway, just looking for thoughts.
.