Should I have told the kids

[lurker1000]

So feeling terrible - posted previously - husband has got flat and is moving out (gambling addict - one tear clean - angry that I put my inheritance away for kids).

so he’s not gone yet, but slowly taking things from house to his flat - I’ve asked for several weeks to know what is happening and keep getting no answers. I’ve asked can we tell kids but get silence (for context he’s not paid a penny for bills and kids in two months) I feel I’m losing my mind,

he’s now turned internet and sky off (transferred to new flat) but still staying here. Tonight is first day TV off and kids going crazy - he got home tonight and I said in front of youngest ‘we need to tell the kids’ and he called the eldest down and said we have something to say. In hindsight I think he was calling my bluff but I just came out and told them ‘mummy and daddy love you but we will be living in two houses etc’ cue lots of tears.

he’s now annoyed that I’ve done that - and I’m now wondering if I should have kept quiet - maybe I’ve forced things now. My heart is breaking for my kids and what it now all means.

he’s told them they can go and see daddy’s flat tomorrow after football - youngest seems excited, eldest less so. What have I done???

You’ve told the truth.

shows his priorities in life quick get the sky changed over but don’t tell the kids we’re splitting up.

You will be ok xxx

You've done exactly the right thing. It's really hard when a relationship ends because the dynamic in that relationship often carries on- So if your ex tended to be the one who controlled things, it can go on like that. It's a very very good thing to break that cycle now.
Plus, your children deserved to know why things were changing at home.

Tell the fucker to leave. Why is he still there? Sounds like he was doing a weird wanting you to back peddle by showing and witnessing how shit life is going to be without him.

Tell him to bugger off

Are you sure there is even a flat?

Yeah definitely got one - he ordered a mattress etc for it, taking kids to see it tomorrow. Transferred internet, spending time there

part of me thinks he was bottling taking the final step - and I’ve just forced it. My poor kids - I’m worried how much tonight is going to affect them

Is your house owned or rented? Can you change the locks so he can’t come back? ( depends where you stand legally)
Well done for protecting your inheritance, that would have been gone.
You’ve done nothing wrong, you reassured your children and told them the truth.

What a twT he is. Why cut off internet and sky for you and kids? Little shit. But if you’re divorcing and you already have the inheritance, he could claim up to half.

You were honest with them, not cowardly like he is. He's happy to move the Internet but not to tell the kids the truth? Or shows his priorities

Change the locks - if he isn't pulling his weight financially, get him fucked right off.

And claim CMS - it sounds like he'll do what he can to wangle out of it

You only did what he was too pathetic not to (telling them). Yes he probably called them over and pretended he was going to tell them and then would have said something else. So now you look like the bad one for telling them. Probably what he wanted all along, to deflect from his shittery of putting the money/internet/Sky situation before his children's needs.

Don't feel bad. It may seem like the end of the world right now, but it won't be like that forever.

Yeah he said this morning that I just jumped in and he was going to talk about internet - but now it’s out he has moved all his stuff this morning and walking around quite the thing taking kids to football.

so why am I a complete wreck unable to function - I’m waiting on my sister to come over but I’m just numb and crying nonstop.

he said things will be better when we are in separate Hoosier but I can’t see how