Why am I so ******* stupid??

[Idiotoftheweek]

Please talk some sense into me, because I think I need a kick up the bum 😳

I'm absolutely falling for someone who couldn't be a bigger red flag, and sensible me knows this, but somehow stupid me keeps growing stronger. The most embarrassing part is that I have been through years of therapy after a very toxic relationship, and I honestly thought that I had left all of this crap behind, yet here I am feeling hopelessly drawn towards someone and throwing all caution to the wind. I'm so annoyed and embarrassed with myself, and I can't even blame him.
Just why am I so stupid?!

You need more therapy...and the Freedom Programme.

Honestly, the fact you’re posting here wanting a kick up the bum shows that you’ve already come so far since last time and the therapy has helped. Don’t do it! Can you access any further support/therapy to help you through it? Sometimes a couple of ‘top up’ sessions are all you need when you’re having a wobble. If you were given any tools/tasks last time maybe work through them again? You’re not stupid, it’s hard to break old thought patterns and it sounds like you’ve done so much work already, you can do this. Be kind to yourself, but also listen to the side of you that knows this isn’t a good idea.

Whereabouts are you? Are there any good women’s charities you can access that might have drop in sessions/activities you can access? You’ll need to do the work but you’re worth it.

Do whatever you can to avoid them and not see them. Stop throwing caution to the wind and remind yourself that it's a choice you're making and to stop making poor choices. Reward yourself in some small way every time you make a good choice. Work on your self esteem and figure out why you are so drawn to men like this.

I'm in England but not originally from here, so not 100% grounded. I know why I'm drawn to men like him and since my therapy I had been absolutely fine with boundaries, and keeping guys like that away. And I did learn strategies but somehow he wiggles through them.
Thanks I will look at local therapy options but I feel so heartbroken because it feels like I failed myself.

I’ve already said it but it’s worth saying again. You haven’t failed yourself because you’re recognising the pattern and know you need support. That’s great progress! Keep believing in that progress it will help you. If you can avoid seeing/interacting with this person that might be a good option.

This, OP. This. You know what you’re doing this time. You’ve posted on here because you realise it’s not good. You HAVE made progress.

Thank you all for talking me up a bit 🤗

Think about which of your emotional needs he’s meeting