My relationship has just ended

[rockl0bster]

The father of my 6 month old baby has just ended our relationship because he said neither of us were happy and he couldn't see a way out. We were, imo, I happy because of the stress of raising a young child and because he works every hour under the sun so we never saw each other. We weren't having sex due to some post partum complications (since resolved). I'm now looking for somewhere new to live while staying with family. I'm utterly overwhelmed and I haven't got time to grieve because I'm caring for our baby. He has her twice a week for a few hours and overnight. He will pay child support.

How do I get over this? I feel broken. I cant do anything i would usually, like exercise, because I'm caring for our baby. I'm also looking for a new job because the hours are unsuitable so don't have that as a distraction either. Please help

You just have to try to take absolutely every day as it comes. Don't think about how you will cope tomorrow, or next week, or next year.

Think about how you can make today a tiny bit better, how you can make yourself feel more grounded, less anxious, less sad just today.

Do you have any support from family and friends? If so, see if they can take your baby for an hour so you can do something for yourself to make it a bit brighter. Gym, bath, see some friends, go see a movie, do some self pampering - whatever it is.

It's just one foot in front of the other. Think about today. Eventually, you will have done this so many times that the days will blur into one and become weeks, then months. Sorry you're going through this

Yeah it's shit. Some men can't cope with a relationship not being all about them and don't want to pull their weight parenting. My ex 'got depressed' when I was unwell in pregnancy and has left me to deal with everything but somehow because he still makes an effort to see his some occasionally he's an awesome involved father? What about the mother who can't work, exercise or socialise because we are left holding the baby?! It's infuriating.

My baby is 15 months now and it does get easier. You get I to your routine. You start to appreciate you can make the decisions about what to watch on tv and you are only doing housework after yourself and baby not an ungrateful man child. You need to vent to friends it's very cathartic and helps feel better.

You will be ok. It's also ok to feel shit now. But I promise you in time you will be ok

This echoes my experience. My ex got depressed, partly due to seeing me have a traumatic birth (??), and then used it as justification to end the relationship. He has not bonded with the baby and will only see her if it fits his work commitments and life. He doesn't realise I can't work properly anymore and can't have a life anymore. I hope it does get easier because I feel so so overwhelmed. I don't know when I'll ever be able to have time to myself again. I feel like I'm being a bad mum because I'm just meeting baby's basic needs right now as opposed to being engaged and enthusiastic etc. I'm just drowning. I look forward to having my own space and he didn't help with baby anyway so I'm used to doing everything alone. I just feel so sad about the fact my family has broken up