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Original poster

Being in a fulfilling relationship after an unfulfilling one

4 replies

malvas · 12/10/2023 12:44

Do any of you have stories about being in a fulfilling relationship after an unfulfilling one?

I'm not talking about abusive relationships, just incompatible ones, ones where you felt you couldn't be yourself, etc.

I've tried so hard to make incompatible relationships work, pushing my needs aside, etc. I'm single and have been for most of my adult years, and it's not that I need a partner to feel happy. But honestly these days I'm feeling quite low about it and it proves so difficult to find a compatible partnership... If you have any stories to share, it would be nice to know that it's actually possible to be in a happy relationship.

Thank you 💚

OP posts:
Free2 · 12/10/2023 12:53

My incompatible relationships seemed to be ‘hard work’ from the start, in the sense of politely laughing at jokes I didn’t think were that funny, etc. I’d be putting on a front I suppose, because I thought it should work on paper.
I went from a relationship with someone who wanted to watch totally different programmes on TV with me, found different things funny, had mismatched sex drives, etc, to being with someone who makes me belly laugh, we have really engrossing conversations at times and although it’s not perfect, (some times have been tough and we’ve both needed to work on ourselves) I don’t have a nagging sense that ‘there must be someone else out there for me’. I am content.

Happiness is possible.

Original poster
malvas · 13/10/2023 20:34

Thank you @Free2 for your reply :) I‘m happy you found it. It gives me hope!

OP posts:
Ofcourseshecan · 13/10/2023 21:35

DH and I met through friends in our 40s. I had wasted years pleasing men who were wrong for me. I felt empty and unfulfilled.

DH, from the start, wanted to please me too. Not just in words but by actually listening to me. We agree on most major things, or one may give way if it’s less important to them, and we’re always ready to discuss and compromise if necessary.

We’ve been sharing our lives very happily for more than 20 years now. Don’t give up hope, OP xx

Original poster
malvas · 14/10/2023 23:47

@Ofcourseshecan thank you for your comment! Sounds lovely, happy to hear you found it and that it’s possible :) thank you for the encouragement xx

OP posts:
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